On the outside, looking in.

Posted on December 21, 2011 by SamuraiMarine

 

There is this story I have been working on that I would like to see become a book, one day.  In this story, one of the key groups of people are the plains Indians… or Plains Aboriginal Americans, as I feel more comfortable calling them.

To prepare for this, I have been doing a great deal of reading and researching on the various tribes that covered the great plains.  Reading what I can and speaking with those that will talk to me.  And that is where my problem lies.

When I was learning ASLAN (American Sign Language), my teacher warned me that not only is ASLAN itself a difficult language to learn, but the deaf community, as a whole, is a very closed one.  He warned me to not expect to be “accepted” into deaf groups was a whole, just because I could communicate with them.  And I did learn that this was true. With the exception of a couple times I stepped in to help with a person asking, in Sign, for help or directions, many times I have tried to interact with people that were obviously signing, I was treated curtly or, in one case, ignored completely.

I have found that my efforts to learn about the Native tribes in my area have had similar results.  I have spoken to local members of the Yokuts, Cherokee and Chumash tribes, and while I find that they are willing to talk to me, I feel more that they are trying to give me the information and then dismiss me than wanting to help educate me.

I understand that I am not part of their community, I also understand that I am part of, historically, the reason that they have lost their land and their ways of life.  I will not deny any of that, but there is little I have had DIRECTLY to do with it, so I  am not sure why there seems to be this wall I have to contend with.

I suppose that I do, in part, understand their point, if I really do look at it.  There are many cases throughout history where a people have been put in dire circumstances like that and those that survived or those that were survived by their elders to continue their stories, have been remiss in sharing with those that were considered outsiders.  Take, for example, those that survived the Holocaust.  I have known, personally, two people that survived the death camps, and both of them were very difficult to get to talk about it.  Not because they did not want to share, but because… as one of them put it for me… “How do you share your emotions with another over your own pending death and the genocide of our people?”

What happened to the Aboriginal Americans was no less than genocide…  and as the offspring of Irish and Scottish immigrants who came over with the initial wave of colonists, I am sure that somewhere in my history, my lineage shares in that responsibility and guilt.

I have learned a lot through my writing and reading about the peoples that made up the Plainsmen.  This is a piece of history that we are rapidly losing, and while the story I am writing is not going to help that history, I will continue to work on getting all I can from those that are willing to sit with me and learn.

As always… thank you for your time and your comments are encouraged.

 

Posted in ...On Writing. | Leave a comment

Is this the best money can buy?

Posted on December 5, 2011 by SamuraiMarine

I have been trying to not post political articles, I really have.  I have grown to really hate politics over the last few years.  It is not because I do not enjoy the discussion of politics, but because there has been no “side” to take recently.

I look that the people that call themselves candidates for the GOP, and the only thing that I really have to ask is, “Is this the best our money is buying?”  I mean, you listen to these jokers talking and “debating”, and you start to get the feeling that the GOP is purposely throwing their chances in the race.  That they are not really serious about TRYING to win.

I have not seen what the Democrats have to offer yet, and frankly, I am not looking forward to it.  Because with what the GOP is offering this go around, I am pretty sure that the only way the Dems will lose is if they go out and nominate Courtney Love, and even in that case, I think she would have a fighting chance, from what I have seen.

Maybe I am just naive or jaded.  I still think that the person who runs for the office should be motivated to be there by something other than popularity or money.  They should be there for the sole purpose of making the nation better.  Too often, especially during Obama’s run, I hear people talk about how he has his “Legacy” to think about.

I think that if a person goes into any undertaking thinking about their legacy first, then they are not worried about anything other than looking good to begin with.  They are not interested in taking chances on unpopular decisions.  They are not willing to go out on a limb to piss people off, even their own people in their own party.

Maybe I will end up being wrong.  Maybe this will end up being a great year for politics, but about the only way I see that happening now is if there is a miracle and we have a powerful figure step up as a “Third Party Candidate”.  If the third party ever had a chance, it is going to be this time around.

We shall see.

As always, thanks for reading.

Posted in Politics | 1 Comment

Good Intentions

Posted on December 3, 2011 by SamuraiMarine

How often have you ever been talking to a person that you have not seen in a while, then upon parting, you make that commitment that we all, or at least many of us, renege on?

I do not think that we intend to lie to a person when we tell them that we will call them later, or discuss the option of getting together sometime.  I believe that we make these plans with every intent on keeping them.  Then life just… gets in the way.  Other things happen and we keep pushing the effort to keep that promise off further and further, until, many times, it escapes our thought altogether, or at least until the next time we see them.

I am especially bad about this, and I know and admit it.  I cannot even count, anymore, the number of friends that I have let go because I have not made the effort to keep in touch.  I understand that friendship is a two-way street, and I should not be the only one that makes the effort.  But I should at least try.

It is not that I do not like these people, it is just, as I stated earlier, that life seems to get in the way.  Other things come up and take precedence over the option of calling others or writing letters to people.

As an example, let me tell you about a friend of mine.  He and I practically grew up together and were always hanging out in High School and on the weekends.  When we graduated from high school, we still got together all the time.  This lasted until he moved to Texas.  We were and are still as close as a phone call, but there is something that makes making that effort hard.  I am not sure what, but it is there.

Luckily, I guess, I am not alone.  Before writing this piece, I spoke to several people about this phenomena, and many said that they have had the same problem.  In some case people have even stopped staying in close contact with family members.  There are even a couple cases where the people I spoke to have family that live in the same town, and they still do not keep in touch.

I would like you, who are reading this now, to tell me your stories about this and why you think it happens.  Tell me, in your own words, what you do to justify it to yourself or to explain the reasoning away.  I am not trying to put any of you on the spot, but I would like to get your opinions on this.

Thanks for reading.

Posted in Observations | 1 Comment

Ten Years

Posted on September 11, 2011 by SamuraiMarine

 

Can you believe that is has been ten years already?

So much has happened in that time, and yet it still seems like it was not that long ago.  Children have been born or become adults, growing up with a hole in their lives where a parent used to be.  Husbands and Wives moved on with their lives, yet never stopped thinking about the one that they lost in one of the airplanes or buildings.

So many people that might have gone on to greatness, been the next Nobel Laureate, the next great doctor or mathematician.  Souls that might have gone on to create the next great idea, invent the next medicine that would have saved millions, wrote the next great book, been a great father or mother, grandfather or grandmother… lost.

Hands that will never hold a child, a lover, a sister, brother or other family member again. voices that we will never hear speak our names or be there to listen to others speak theirs. Lost chances of friendships, apologies, loves and dreams come true.  Promises made that will never be fulfilled, someone making a trip to propose to someone they love… gone.

Then there is the hate that this has caused.  Like the world needed one more thing to divide it’s people from one another, this has opened yet another rift.  Not only creating a paranoia of anyone that looks like they might be middle-eastern, but also a hatred for anyone that is openly Muslim.  I have lost track of how many times I have heard comments like, “Any Muslim is a terrorist.”, or various versions of the same.  I have no delusions that it was Islamic Extremists that caused this, but I also do not believe that every person that practices Islam is an extremist or a terrorist.

My heart goes out to all those innocent lives that were lost on 11 September 2001.  Further, my heart and best wishes go out to all those that survived or were survived by on that unfortunate day.  The only thing that we can truly understand is that life will go on, the pain will lessen with time, but the scars and loss will remain.  We cannot bring back those that were lost, but we can honor their memories by being better people in their honor.

For my September 11th, I am not going to mourn those lost, but celebrate life in the memory of those lost.  I think that they would appreciate that more than feeling sorrow of their loss.

I am not turning this into a political debate… If anyone posts anything turning this into one, I will delete that post.  I do not do that often… so take heed.

 

Posted in ...In the news!, Heroes, In Memoriam... | 3 Comments

Curbing our tongues

Posted on August 30, 2011 by SamuraiMarine

 

One of the most important things that my wife and I have been trying to do, now that we have a set of little ears around the house, has  been to watch our language.  To pay attention to the words we use and omit the ones that might find their way into his vocabulary.

We had not even realized how much swore until we really started paying attention to it, now we are catching ourselves on a regular basis using words that our parents, at one time, would punish us for.

With this realization on our parts, we started a new program in our house, and it includes guests as well.  It is called, simply, “The Pinch”.  And it is starting to show some fruit.

The way it works is this.  If you say anything in the way of a curse… words I cannot share here because my filter will change them into something else, then whoever hears it first and makes the connection gets to pinch, good and hard, the offender.  Guests are given one warning, if they are not already aware of the game, then they are fair game if they drop any foul bombs.

Granted…  at seven months, the child will probably not pick up on much right now.  But we have to start on ourselves now to train each other to find other words to use.  Something that I find very important.

One thing I have to laugh about with this whole adventure is that this was all explained to me once before.   Years ago, my wife and I had a tape of Robin Williams: Live at the Met.  In there he has a whole section about how kids pick up on language cues before we know it.  I will not go into detail, but if you have a chance, and I am sure that it is out there on YouTube, listen to it.  It will have you rolling.

 

Posted in Baby News | Leave a comment

Gifts of knowledge…

Posted on July 29, 2011 by SamuraiMarine

When I went through my Bar Mitzvah ceremony, when I was thirteen, I was excited.  Not so much by the fact that I was going to be a “Man” in the eyes of the temple, but more because I knew that there would be gifts.

That is not to say that the ceremony meant nothing to me, on the contrary, it meant a great deal.  While I am sure that I was a constant source of challenge to Rabbi Peskind, in that I was a lazy student, I was excited that once this was completed I would be able to take a more active role in the temple.

After the ceremony, as I expected, came the gifts.  Most of these were checks, but there was also a ring to commemorate my Bar Mitzvah and there was a package.  It was heavy and solid.  My imagination was running wild about what it could be.

A Game?  Some tools?  A Model?

When I opened it, my heart sank.  It was a book, and worse yet, it was a dictionary.  I am embarrassed to say, even now, about 30 years later, that I was angry about this.  For months that book sat in a corner of my closet.  Never getting touched or looked at a second or third time.  I was treating it like the proverbial Fifth Horseman and I would have nothing to do with it.

Sometimes, I think, especially when we are young, we fail to see the importance of a gift, even when the person that gave it to you does.  So several month later, I was reading something in a paper and I came to a work that stumped me.  While I do not recall the word now, I do remember trying to break it down for it root meanings, but got nowhere.  So I asked my Mother what it meant.  Her response was:

“You have a dictionary in the closet… look it up.”

Suddenly I needed to come face to face with the 800 pound gorilla in the closet.  The big red book that I was loathing the mere existence of for so long.  As I picked up the book, the cold sweat broke out on my brow and down the center of my back.  I opened it to the page and, low and behold, there was the answer I needed.

While looking that word up, I found another that interested me, then another, and yet ANOTHER.  Suddenly, before I knew it, I was sitting in my bedroom reading a dictionary, much like one would read an Anne Rice novel (I would say a Stephanie Meyer novel for the younger readers, but I doubt there is much in her books that would require a dictionary.)

Today, on my shelf, a mere five feet from where I sit writing this piece, sits that very same dictionary.  Yes it is outdated and they are not that expensive, but there is something about that book that I just cannot bring myself to part with it.

You know how they say that you can never forget your first love?   I think that this might be the same thing.  To this day, that book means more to me than any of the other books on my shelves, short of the Torah, My Great-Great Grandmother’s Bible, and my Marine Corps Manual.

If there is a moral to this article… it would have to be to not discount the gifts of others.  Just because it was not what you wanted at the time, it does not mean it is not what you might need very soon.

Posted in I Remember... | Leave a comment

Six Months in…

Posted on July 24, 2011 by SamuraiMarine

I have been bad…

I have been so busy recently that I have not taken the time to write anything on this site, something that I need to do from time to time to share my observations with those of you that are interested in reading that which I choose to share.

This last six months has been incredible.  It seems like with each day that passes, I learn something new about myself, about life, about my relationship with my wife, and, most importantly, about Gideon.

Today, Gideon is a 19 pound, 27 inch long little boy that shows nothing less than a love for learning anything and everything that he can about the world around him.  He watches everything and you can see that he is trying to figure it out.  Not just looking at things to look at them, he wants to know why things are what they are.

Watching him experience the world, by itself, is a pure joy.  Living vicariously through his little eyes, I am learning to see wonder in life again.  Wonder in things that I have started taking for granted, in my old age.  When I see him look at something that he has not seen before, and I see his eye turn into saucers as he takes it all in, suddenly I see it anew as well.

Things as simple as our dogs running through the house excites his curiosity and interest.  And there is nothing more fun than watching him pay attention to them and reaching for them as they run past him.

He has done to me what all the exercising and vitamins I have taken in my life cannot, and that is make me feel young again.  Through him, I am learning to enjoy life and to appreciate little things that I had started to just not pay attention to anymore.

My life, because of this new little life, has taken on new meaning and new direction.  No longer am I doing what I do for me, I am doing for the life of Gideon.  So that he will have something the look forward to as he grows older.  It is no longer a case of my doing what I want for my wife and I, it is a case of my doing what is best for Gideon, and the considerations of my wife and I are now secondary to that.  And while at one time I would have had a problem with that, now I am perfectly fine with this.  It just seems and feels perfectly natural.

Lastly… I see a new need to live a better life, myself.

My Father passed away as a result of cancer when he was only 53 years old, granted, he did lead a rough life and was a very old 53 (if you were to have met him, you would think he was older.)  But the fact is that when he passed away, 53 was still considered young.

I do not lead the life that he did… I rarely drink, I do not smoke and I would like to think I have a pretty happy life, in spite of myself.  But I do have other vices that I need to change, which I will not bore you with.  But suffice it to say that I need to change my way of living around a bit to ensure that I will be here for Gideon for years and years to come.

As always… thank you for reading this.

Posted in Baby News | Leave a comment

Amy Winehouse – RIP

Posted on July 24, 2011 by SamuraiMarine

Being that I wrote a piece about Amy some time ago, I feel I need to comment on the news of her recent passing.

While it is sad that she passed away, it should be remembered that she did lead rough life.  Her use of drugs and her lifestyle, in general, as was laid before us all on the national news for some time, was not conducive of that of a person that desired to live a long, full life.

I would never hope for a person’s passing, nor do I ever celebrate the death of anyone.  I strongly believe in the idea of Karma, so I make every effort to accept that the decisions of others are their own and that they create their own path.

I think that people, especially the youth, that followed Amy, should take this as a life lesson.  That they should see what the the substance abuse and lifestyle did to Amy and maybe learn from that.   I would hope that were Amy still with us today, she would agree with that and encourage the same of anyone that admired her.

She was a very creative woman, and I enjoyed listening to her music.  For the music, she will be missed.

Posted in Art and Entertainment | 2 Comments

I Hate You!!!

Posted on April 5, 2011 by SamuraiMarine

These have to be the worst words and the worst phrase that one can use against another.

I have been called names before, several times, and not always in jest. But none of them hurt like when a person tells you that they hate you. Likewise, I can think of no worse thing to say to someone than that you hate them.

As we can see in our world today, hate can be a filthy, dangerous and anti-productive feeling. Really, even in times of war, hate accomplishes absolutely nothing. There is no good that can come from you telling someone this, or them saying it to you.

Many years ago, when I was very young, I recall a teacher telling me something that stay with me to this day. I had yelled at another student and told him that I hated him, but she took me aside and explained how hurtful those words could be. Granted, this was in fourth grade, and most children just do not comprehend the power of words at that age, but her comments stayed with me, regardless.

It would not be until several years later, when I used those very words for the sole purpose of hurting someone that I learned their true power. I had told my mother, at the ripe old age of 14, that I hated her. Then later that evening, I saw the effect that this had on her.

After that time, I never said that to her or anyone else again. You will not hear me say that I hate someone anymore. Yes, I still do use the word “hate”, but these days it is in relation to more innocuous things. I hate the arthritis that is making my knee hurt, I hate my allergies, I hate these oppressive taxes, etc… These are all things that I know will not be emotionally affected by my hatred of them.

To these things, you can express your hatred all you want, with no repercussions. There are no feelings to hurt, no egos to bruise. The most that will happen and this is if you REALLY hate that inanimate object you are cursing, is that you will tire and run out of breath.

Too often people hate one another for something like their religion, or skin color, or sexual orientation, or many other things that I could list. But who does that hatred help? What does telling them that you hate them accomplish except maybe causing them pain?

All this being said does not mean that there are not people out there that deserve to be hated. There are many, many truly “hate-worthy” people on this planet. But then the question comes up, is it really worth your time and effort to express the energy to hate them? Are they really worth that much of your attention? More importantly, do they CARE if you hate them?

More often than not, the answer to these questions will be no, and by doing so you are actually giving them more attention than they deserve or need.

There is already too much hate in the world. Try to do like I was taught. The next time you see a person and feel compelled to say you hate them, even if it is only to yourself and under your breath, replace “Hate” with “dislike”.
 

Posted in Philosophy | Leave a comment

Thanks for the memories and experience…

Posted on February 17, 2011 by SamuraiMarine

It would be unfortunate and I would be inconsiderate if I were not to mention Mercy SouthWest in a positive light, though our birth experience.

The overall experience of giving birth, for both Father and Mother alike, is an overwhelming ordeal.  While the end result is the blessing of having a new life in your life, the nerves, worries, pain, etc… all have to be dealt with in a manner to keep everyone happy.

The doctors and staff at the Mercy South West hospital here in Bakersfield were absolutely phenomenal. At no point did they treat us like this was something that they do every day.  They treated us like this was something just as special to them as it was to us.   

I have been in hospitals several times over my life, and rarely can I say that they were pleasant experiences.  This one, however, changed that.  This is one of those rare times that if someone were to ask me if there is one day that I would like to relive again and again, what would it be.  Without question, that would be January 17th, 2011.

If you live here in the Bakersfield, Ca. area and are reading this, if you want to know where you should go to give birth.  Please consider the Mercy Southwest birthing center.  I cannot express what a great experience this has been for us, and the staff there made it that much better.

Posted in Rants and Raves | 1 Comment