The SamuraiMarine

Thoughts, Philosophy, Life and Love

Month: May 2012

My son, the lady’s man

So as my son grows, I am noticing several new things about him each passing day.  Most of these are the usual things you notice about a child.  Picking up new habits, showing interest in things and wanting to know what they are.  Seeing his reflection in a mirror and knowing that he is looking at himself.

Then there are the things that one does not expect from a 15 month old.  Like the fact that he seems to be turning into quite the lady’s man.   Or at least he is developing a strong interest in the women he sees.   Maybe a little too strong an interest.

You  see, this all started several months ago when I went to a friend’s house for his son’s birthday party.  Naty, Gideon and Myself were invited to the party and so, well,  we went.  The host of this party has, in addition to the son whose party we were attending, has a daughter and at this party she was wearing a bathing suit.

I was not aware of the suit until Gideon, my THEN six-month-old son, about broke his neck to watch something going on behind me.  So I turned around so that he could get a better look at whatever it was that he saw.   And what he saw was Dave’s daughter in her bathing suit, and he proceeded to watch her until she was gone, and even then you could tell he wanted to follow her.

Fast forward several months to two weeks ago.  We were taking Gideon on a little early evening walk around the Marketplace, a small outdoor mall near where we live, because Gids LOVES the fountain there.  As we were walking around the fountain for about the thirtieth time, three girls, maybe in their late teens, if that, walking into the area where the fountain was.

Gideon, seeing them, broke his orbit around the fountain and headed right for them.  He then plowed right into the middle of their little group and announced himself and looked at them all.   It was like he was saying; “Hello ladies, here I am!”

The girls were all taken by his cuteness and talked to him and played to his inflated ego, and this is when he did the next thing that startled me.  He walked up behind one of the girls and put his hand on her butt.  If she noticed, she did not let it on… after all, he is just a baby, right?

He spent a couple minutes yammering at them and squealing here and there, with an occasional laugh thrown in for good measure.  Then when it came time for them to leave, he walked up to one of the other girls, who was wearing a rather short pair of shorts, and proceeded to pat her bottom as well.

I cannot help but wonder where he get this Casanova streak.  People have said, when I tell this this story, that he is growing up to be like his daddy.  Not quite… my talents when it comes to the ladies have always been in need.   When I was dating I was about as suave as an epileptic orangutan with hiccups.

So the consensus in our house is this. If Gids keeps up this streak, by the time he is in High School, we are going to have build some database to keep track of his girlfriends, because he is probably going to have plenty of them.  He appears to be well on his way to becoming a little Casanova Heart-breaker.

…It came out of nowhere!

Where is nowhere?

Seriously, I think that if mankind ever want to truly achieve something remarkable, we need to pull together the help of all the scientists in the world to research where this place is and find a way to open it up to the world.

My reason for talking about such an abstract thought as nowhere is because of the career path I have chosen.   No, not computers, though I would have to say that many of the people I have helped over the years have a better chance of finding nowhere than they have of learning how to use the computers that they own or that they are set in front of.

My reasons for this topic are because of one of the comments that many people hear in the insurance industry when speaking to a person that has just had an accident.

“[it / he / she / they] came out of nowhere!”

For example… one slightly drizzly morning, I was heading to work and I had the unfortunate pleasure of being witness to an accident.   A small green Honda was traveling a little too fast for the conditions and ran into the rear of a full-sized school bus.   Not a short bus, not a camouflaged bus, not a bus from the local military reserve that had some super-secret stealth technology.   It was just a bright, school-bus yellow, school bus.

Because I witnessed the accident and because I am a nice guy like that, I stuck around and waited for the police to arrive.  The driver of the car was not badly hurt, just a bit shaken.  And needless to say, the driver of the bus barely noticed anything and seemed mildly annoyed at having to wait around for the police.   To be honest, I am not sure who called the police, or why, but they were called.

In time, a police technician showed up, as did an ambulance, fire truck and an off-duty Sheriff’s officer, though he seemed more interested in the female police technician than in the accident, and a small VW bug with about ten clowns in it (OK.. I made up the part about the VW.)  But the gang was all there and talking to the bus driver and the driver of the car.   It was not until the tow truck showed up that things got interesting, and helped to spawn this topic.

When the tow truck driver was talking to the guy driving the car, he made the mistake of asking him what happened.   Among other comments about the weather, the fact that somehow the road what not laid down correctly and I am sure there may have been something in his excuse about the alignment of the stars and maybe Jupiter was rising in Virgo… he said, “I don’t know! That bus came out of nowhere, man!”

Thus came to be my interest in nowhere.   This magical, mystical place that seems to house bright yellow buses, trees, dogs, cats (well, cats I have to excuse, if there is any creature that knows about dimensional doorways into someplace as elusive as nowhere, then a cat would be it.) Fire hydrants, other cars, houses, etc…  Wherever this nowhere place is, it must look like a Costco or Wal-Mart on the inside.

Personally I see a large warehouse style building.   There are bays, bays that look like what you would see in a large scale auto repair center, but these bays are stocked with trees, cars, cats, dogs, other people (usually the elderly or infirm), school buses, garbage trucks, taxis, etc…   miles of bays like this lined up.   At each bay there is a person working at a terminal… waiting.   Then, suddenly his terminal lights up, and there is a countdown.  Lights flash, sirens sound and he (or she, as I am sure that it would be a EEOC employer) pulls a lever.   There is a rush, a dimensional portal opens and whatever stations that person is called upon to man, send their wares out to the predetermined location.

Meanwhile, in a small suburban community, a teenage driver, only have had his learner’s permit for a couple weeks, hits a train that…  “…came out of nowhere.”

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