As I approach the big “Five-Oh”, I find that I am more reticent to talk to others about my experiences and the things I have learned along this path that is life.
Thankfully, some of the people that I have around me that are younger than I either appear to be somewhat interested in what I have to say to them, or are very good about feigning interest and putting up with me, so as to prevent, or hope to prevent, me from doing like others do when then reach my age and started repeating the same stories.
But in talking about the past, I find it easier to deal with some of the things I feel are coming up in my future. I also find myself realizing all the mistakes I have made in the past and how, one way or another, they seem to have had an affect on my person now and who I have become.
In my lifetime I have done some truly inspirational things. Most of these did not seem that way at the time and rarely were they anything that had any benefit to me, but the fact that I did them at all helped others and impacted others lives. Likewise I know that I have done many despicable things. Some of these were done in ignorance and others as acts of malice with the sole intent of harming another person or people.
But both the good and the bad made me who I am now
, and as such I wonder if any of those things were changed… would I still be the same person I am today?
Am I a good person? People tell me I am, mostly people that I love and I assume love me. I do not look at myself and say, “Sam, you are a good person.” That has never been the type of person that I am.
I will leave it for those that come after me to decide if I was a good person or not. I think that it shows a level of conceit for a person to profess themselves to be good. I think that the true measure of how good you are is based on the hearts and lives you have touched. The memories we leave behind are the ultimate proof of how good we are in life.
Thanks for your readership.