Why does it seem that we seem prone to look for what we know we can never have or that which has no chance of being ours?
This is more than a rhetorical question, but something that I have been thinking about for some time, especially the last year or so. Which may also be part of the reason that I have been remiss in my duties as your host with this site.
This last year has been filled with major trials in my life. Betrayals, hurts, heartbreaks and heartaches. Some of the problems I have been dealing with are still not gone and may plague me for years to come, but the fact that I have made it through the last year without major complications stands as a testament to my being a little stronger than I thought I was.
There is a lot I wish I could undo about the last eighteen months. So many things that I wish that I had had a little more hindsight on and practiced a little more wisdom on. Things that, looking at them now, should have been so obvious to me at the time, however I failed to see the potential for problems because I was not looking at them from a point of logic, just of emotional gratification.
I was chasing something that was unattainable or unreachable… uncatchable, you might say. I was chasing a part of my youth that I had let go and was trying desperately to live it out anew by surrounding myself with younger people with whom I thought I had created friendships.
I would like to think that I am not alone in these things… that somewhere out there there are others that have been as foolhardy as I was, fellow fools that let their emotional attachments to others and to a time that they missed out on, lead them down a path that would, might and could very possibly create more problems than they had realized.
I would like to say that I have learned my lessons, that I am going out of this last period of time wiser and smarter… but who knows? Do we ever truly learn our lessons?
One might never know…