Yeah, this is going to be a rant.   Sort of like Peter Griffin’s “You know what grinds my gears” from the show, Family Guy.

For the most part, I am pretty laid back these days.  Not a lot gets to me or annoys me.  It has taken me years to achieve this zen like state with regards to people that used to be able to find that chink in my armor and get to me.  But there are still things that will get to me.   I would like to talk about a few of them here, because there are some people out there that I just DONT THINK UNDERSTAND that what they do IS annoying.

“Guess What?”

This is tops of my list.  There is a person that uses this more often than anyone else I know and each time it is like grating nails on a chalkboard.  I mean, I have heard it from others, and it is mildly annoying from them, but this other person… She will be silent for long periods of time, then out of the blue, I will get a text message, “Guess What?”

For the longest time, I bit… I would ask, “What?”  About one third of the time I would never get a response from her and I would have to ask again.  There were even a couple times I can recall that when she finally responded, she forgot what she was wanting to tell me.  So in my thinking, it was either a lie in the first place, or just not something that was important enough to start the conversation anyway.

Whenever I get these messages, my mind thinks of ways to mess with the person sending them.  Another friend of mine that has been the victim of the “Guess What” messages told me we should start responding with:

  • You’re pregnant?
  • You’re excited about something?
  • You’re depressed?
  • You’re experiencing intense gas?
  • You’re having a bad day?
  • You’re having a great day?
  • You’re having vaginal spasms?
  • You’re going to die?
  • You’re needing help?
  • You’re going to college?
  • You’re sitting on a Cactus?
  • You’re making amends?
  • You’re an idiot?

I finally told her about a year ago that I would not longer respond to “Guess What” messages.  So, as promised, the next time she sent me one, I deleted it without reading it.

Note:  This is something that she obviously forgot, because two days ago I got, and promptly deleted, a “Guess what” message from this person.  To quote Homie the Clown, “Homie dont play that!”

“Irregardless”

Anyone that says or uses in written form, “Irregardless”.

I firmly believe that IF there is a Hell, there is a special place for people that use this fake word.

I cannot say that people that use it are lazy, because when you think about it, the word they SHOULD be using is “Regardless”, which takes a little less time and effort to use, so they are just working that much harder to sound ignorant.

I know that there are people out there that use it because they may have heard it and thought it was real, but as soon as they are told otherwise, they need to stop.  Moreover, when I was growing up, my mother taught me that you should know what a word MEANS before you use it.  So if this is applied, then people would see that while yes, it is listed in Websters, they would see that it is not something that they should be using.  See the attached.

So while yes, they do say it is a word, it is not a standard word and, technically you are saying “not regardless”.

So move on.

People that pronounce the “B” in Subtle.

Yes, there are people I have met that do.  So stop it.  I know it can be confusing and yes, English is a confusing language, but if it is your primary language, get used to it and say the words right!

 

Getting invited to parties, because they need a Tech.

This is why I stopped going to parties.  No lie.

I can count at least ten times (yes, I know, fool me once…) where I was invited to a party or event, then at some point, the host or their significant other come to me and ask, “Can I have you take a look at something?”

Then I am led to their computer and told a story about how something is no longer working.

Because I am a nice guy, I do it, then end up missing the party and later hate myself for falling for it… yet… again.

I have put a stop to it, though.  If you want me to look at your computer because you pulled some bone-headed maneuver and messed it up, make an appointment with me for another time.  If that was the only reason you invited me, fess up, and I will leave now.  Otherwise, let me have fun.

 

That is it for now… as I think of more I will post another article.

 

Thanks for reading!!

Samuel Wright
Writer / Father / Listener / Philosopher

I am a starving writer living in the backwater of California, in a place known mostly for Buck Owens and Valley Fever called Bakersfield.


This site is my release. A place for me to talk about things that annoy, please, or excite me.