The SamuraiMarine

Thoughts, Philosophy, Life and Love

A Disturbing Trend

You know something… we are raising a generation of rude people.

My wife and I were sitting, eating breakfast this morning, and I watched as a man came in and sat down in the waiting area… waiting to be seated.

Well… This being Sunday, it was not long before the usual Church crowd started wandering in, and the place started to fill up. While this man sat there, a couple elderly women came in, one of them having a noticeably hard time both walking and just standing there.

The afore mentioned young man looked at them, and instead of offering his seat to them, he did something that completely miffed me. He not only stayed seated, but he picked up his back pack and placed it on the seat next to him, thusly taking up two seats. All the while he kept looking at the two old women standing there.

After a could minutes, a man who was not much younger than the women, and directly across from the young man that would not give up the two seats he was taking up, stood, with some effort, and gave his seat to the eldest of the two women. Watching this the whole time, the younger man made no effort to follow suit and surrender his seat to the remaining woman.

My issue here is why could he have not given his seat up? I would have in a heartbeat, because that is the way I was raised. From the time I was very young, I was taught to respect my elders.

I think that if we took a good, hard, look at what we see going on around us today, we would see that many of the things that are happening with gangs and the trouble in our schools, can be attributed to two things; Lack of discipline and disrespect of our elders.

Face it… the laws that are in place these days and the way they prevent us from punishing our children by almost making it a crime to raise our hands against them, have made parents the familial representation of a Lame Duck. If a person does spank their kid, when they get to school all they have to do is say that their parents hit them. In some cases, that is all it takes to get the parent in trouble.

What kind of society are we creating when we cannot or will not discipline our children? NOT disciplining them is only creating a fantasy world in which they will be mislead into thinking that they will always get their way. This will create a dysfunctional and impotent society.

If we continue in this direction, we will not have to worry about threats from outside the country… the terrorist and Anti-American groups can just sit back and watch us get stupider and lazier, then make their move when we are too dumb and lazy to do anything about it.

If you are thinking I have gotten off my original thought, no… I have not. It all starts with discipline and respect. You have to respect those that came before you and that which they have to teach us… some of the information may become dated, but the core teaching will still be there. Our prior generations are our greatest natural resource, we need to learn as much as we can from it. It is also important that we, as adults, be allowed to punish out children as we need to. Punishment should be harsh… it should teach us a lesson, and in some cases, it should shame or embarrass us.

There is nothing quite as educational as a good paddling by your mother in front a your friends.

Only when we bring discipline and respect back into our homes and schools will we get back on the road to a great nation.

Samuel Wright
Writer / Father / Listener / Philosopher
I am a starving writer living in the backwater of California, in a place known mostly for Buck Owens and Valley Fever called Bakersfield.

This site is my release. A place for me to talk about things that annoy, please, or excite me.

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5 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    OMG!!! That was so horrible. I cannot believe that guy would not even give up his seat. Not only did he not give up his seat….he prevented her from sitting next to him by putting the bag next to him. Now, that just plan wrong! I agree with you, I would of gave up my seat in a heartbeat. Even if she was not an old women, I was always taught to treat a lady with respect. If any women walked in the room I hold the door and offer her my seat, no question asked. That has to do more with the type of person I am. But in the end we will all reap what we sow. I will be laughing when in hell they force he to go through torture of having that same lady walk past with a glass of water and drinking it in his face, while he begs for help….LOL!!

  2. john baker

    Is that how your parents taught you respect, by beating you, shaming you, and embarrassing you? Are you kidding…you equate some kids bad manners to a whole generation of kids, or worse, think that gangs are caused by lack of discipline and repect for our elders.
    You should ask someone who is an expert about your theories on child rearing and solving the gang problem by beating kids into being respectful. Apparently you don’t have any…and if you do and you beat, shame, and embarrass them in front of their friends, then I hope they report you because it’s called physical and mental abuse. Geez…think before you write…do you tell your theories to your doctor, minister or wife…or just put them on the internet for everyone to see…..calling for the abuse of children is just plain wrong by any standard….anywhere and anytime…you can’t beat respect into anyone, child or adult…it only breeds hatred, resentment and continues the cycle of those who beat others to get their way….or go to a parenting class and ask them if beating children will make them respect the beater…

  3. There is a big difference between beating and spanking. You are assuming that a spanking is abuse, it is not. Only just recently has it become a taboo to spank your kids. If I did something wrong, I was punished, if I used foul language, I had my mouth washed out with the ivory bar. If I decided to be a bully, my mother would punish me, then walk me to the person’s house and make me apologize, and when you are a kid, THAT is humiliating. What all of that did was teach me that there is accountability in everything you do. Likewise she taught me that if someone is a bully to you, you do not back down… you stand your ground and, if struck, you strike back. While she never actually said it, she pretty much let me know that I should never start a fight, but if presented with one, I should make sure a finish it. This is a policy that served me well in life and in the service.

    As it sounds from your message… you were brought up in the “Stand in the corner and think about what you did wrong.” generation. For some people that works. If you see discipline as abuse, then you would probably be one of those teachers today that reports a child’s parents for abuse if they discipline their children.

    Taking this a step further, do you think it is healthy to put kids on meds just to go to school? Don’t tell me that it is not that common… any time the schools think that a child is to hyper, or presents an aggressive personality, they are put on Ritalin, or something similar. Kids are not allowed to be competitive anymore, look at the schools that have taken away things like dodgeball, or flag football. Then there are the schools that let you play baseball, but you are not allowed to keep score, because “Everyone’s a winner.” Are these realistic lessons to teach?

    I digress… Spanking does not breed hate or anger. Abuse can… there is a BIG BIG difference between abuse and a good paddling when you have crossed the line. I never had bruises, unless it was a time I wrecked a bike or failed a move in wrestling (which was a REQUIREMENT when I was in high school.) I feel that I am a stable, albeit impatient, person… and I attribute my success to the fact that my mother DID raise me well. While I did not always like my mother (who does ALWAYS), I did always love her. I resent your implication that she was abusive. I have done nothing to attack you or your family… hell… I do not know or care who you are, and I do consider that an insult at the least. Here I will advise you to tread VERY carefully. I am more than willing to display your point of view, even if I do not like it, but if you (or anyone else) starts attacking, insulting or flaming, I will wipe out any history that you ever posted here. I will not allow this to happen on my site.

    As for gangs… Can you honestly tell me that you think that all members of the common street gangs you see today are from well adjusted families with no problems? Sure… I will accept that some are, but I would be willing to lay odds that many are people who came from broken families where the parents were not there for the kids, were not able to coach or discipline the kids or just did not care, and yes, some are from abusive homes. People join gangs out of need… looking for something that they are missing in their own family, because these kids see the gang as a family or an extension thereof. They have no respect for anything other than themselves and their gang and family. If you disagree with this, look at how often a drive by shooting results in the death of children and people that are not even related to the gang or it’s “rivals”. To me… you will probably correct me, this is a lack of respect for human life. This tells me that somewhere down the line, they were never taught that you should respect life. You are now going to bring up my comments about people breaking into the house and me shooting them. I will not take a chance on finding out what a person’s intentions are if they are in my house illegally. I will hold them at gunpoint if possible, but if challenged, I will shoot. I was trained that you do not take a life for the sake of taking it, you take it if there is a clear danger. Calling the police and waiting the 15 minutes for them to show up may not be an option… a lot can happen in that amount of time, if the person has ill intents.

    Now… based on all that I have just said, please tell me again how abusive my parent was and how full of hate and resentment I am.

  4. john baker

    Geez, you’re a bit touchy about this topic. I never said your mother was abusive, I asked if that is how you were raised. And, I am a teacher. Further, I don’t see the relationship between foul language and washing a childs mouth out with soap. I teach in a “gang environment” neighborhood where they us the “F” word every other word. But, I have a zero tolerance policy in the classroom, and the “F” word is rarely if ever used, much less heard.
    Since I failed to convince you I have included a blurb from the Internet Encyclopedia for your review. (Wikipedia)
    A reading on the topic will demonstrate that all of Europe and most of the U.S. has banned spanking. Also, the EXPERTS, doctors, psychiatrists, social workers, etc. state how harmful it is…and may result in exactly what I said it would, and which you still discount and refuse to recognize.
    Lastly, I can’t believe that you got spanked for having an accident on your bike and/or failing to wrestle properly….Now, that’s abuse…Don’t worry…I will not respond to your blogs any longer because you don’t want feedback in order to improve your critical thinking skills…you only like to hear or read what you call an educated opinion…you, sir, only want others to agree with your unresearched and ill thought out opinions in other words you’re a “my way or the highway” type of person who is a bully and threatens those who do not agree with you or make you angry with their point of view or who, worse yet, makes assumptions not based on fact and uses great leaps thereof to try to rationalize or prove their point of view…as an ex-marine corpsman, vietnam purple heart vetran, lawyer, judge pro tem, father of 3 college educated adults, and now educator with a masters degree who has lived on this earth for almost 60 years, I feel my opinions may hold a little more weight than yours. At least I base mine on the writings of experts, and not on made up “I Think so’s” or broad generalizations. If you didn’t want anyone to disagree with you, you should not have asked for feedback. In the market place of the exchange of ideas….in your case…the market is closed. Good Day, sir. The information appears below:

    [edit] Child’s right to self defense
    The issue of a child’s right to self defense has long been debated. Spanking in public and private intuitions could be grounds for assault charges and therefore identification of a victim and perpetrator.

    Public cases involving youth defending themselves against both legal guardians and public disciplinarians to include teachers have long been reported. Although resistance is often met with further actions against the individual occasionally the disciplinarian will become injured and possibly the victim of assault themselves, for example Eric Hainstock fatally shot his principal in Cazenovia, Wisconsin over reportedly being attacked and bullied by students and ignored by faculty members.[citation needed]

    [edit] Arguments against spanking
    Anti-spanking advocates argue chiefly that spanking is abusive, that it is ineffective, and that it teaches children that physical violence is an acceptable way to deal with other people. They point to the fact that scientific research has failed to back up any of the claims in favor of spanking while research has consistently shown that the number one predictor of violent behavior is whether someone comes from a home where violence is practiced, including a home where children are subjected to physical punishment. Some believe that spanking contributes to physical abuse in cases of domestic violence, bullying at school and physical abuse on siblings. Most violent criminals were spanked as children and many cases of bullying at school have been linked to physical abuse cases. Spanking is also criticized for being a violation[14] of human rights. Many are concerned by the fact that spanking is a sexual activity enjoyed by large sections of the adult population and are afraid that spanking might constitute sexual abuse or cause sexual dysfunction.

    The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) official policy statement [5] states that “Corporal punishment is of limited effectiveness and has potentially deleterious side effects. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents be encouraged and assisted in the development of methods other than spanking for managing undesired behavior.” The AAP states that any corporal punishment methods other than open-hand spanking on the buttocks or extremities “are unacceptable” and “should never be used”. Furthermore, they state that “The more children are spanked, the more anger they report as adults, the more likely they are to spank their own children, the more likely they are to approve of hitting a spouse, and the more marital conflict they experience as adults [15] Spanking has been associated with higher rates of physical aggression, more substance abuse, and increased risk of crime and violence when used with older children and adolescents.[16]”

    The American Psychological Association opposes the use of corporal punishment in schools, juvenile facilities, child care nurseries, and all other institutions, public or private, where children are cared for or educated (Conger, 1975). They state that corporal punishment is violent, unnecessary, may lower self-esteem, is likely to train children to use physical violence, and is liable to instill hostility and rage without reducing the undesired behavior. [17]

    The Canadian Pediatrics Society policy on spanking states “The Psychosocial Paediatrics Committee of the Canadian Paediatric Society has carefully reviewed the available research in the controversial area of disciplinary spanking (7-15)… The research that is available supports the position that spanking and other forms of physical punishment are associated with negative child outcomes. The Canadian Paediatric Society, therefore, recommends that physicians strongly discourage disciplinary spanking and all other forms of physical punishment” [18]

    England’s Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health and Royal College of Psychiatrists have called for a complete ban on all corporal punishment, stating “We believe it is both wrong and impracticable to seek to define acceptable forms of corporal punishment of children. Such an exercise is unjust. Hitting children is a lesson in bad behaviour.”[19] and that “it is never appropriate to hit or beat children” [20]

    The Australian Psychological Society holds that physical punishment of children should not be used as it has very limited capacity to deter unwanted behavior, does not teach alternative desirable behavior, often promotes further undersirable behaviors such as defiance and attachment to “delinquent” peer groups, encourages an acceptance of aggression and violence as acceptable responses to conflicts and problems[21]

    UNESCO states “During the Commission on Human Rights, UNESCO launched a new report entitled “Eliminating Corporal Punishment – The Way Forward to Constructive Child Discipline”. The United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child has consistently recommended States Parties to the Convention on the Rights of the Child to prohibit corporal punishment and other forms of violence against children in institutions, in schools, and in the homes…To discipline or punish through physical harm is clearly a violation of the most basic of human rights. Research on corporal punishment has found it to be counterproductive and relatively ineffective, as well as dangerous and harmful to physical, psychological and social well being. While many States have developed child protection laws and systems violence still continues to be inflicted upon children”.[22]

    The United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child recommends that States Parties to the Convention on the Rights of the Child to prohibit corporal punishment in institutions, in schools, and in the home.[23]

    Even without sexual motives on the part of the punisher, some maintain that spanking can interfere with a child’s normal sexual and psychological development. Because the buttocks are so close to the genitals and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, slapping them can trigger powerful and involuntary sensations of sexual stimulation. This can happen even in very young children, and even in spite of great, clearly upsetting pain.[24]

    Dr. Teresa Whitehurst said “The literature is replete with accounts of rape victims who never came forward to name their accuser or even to admit they’d been violated because they were so ashamed at their bodies’ involuntary response to touch, thinking that this would suggest they enjoyed the assault. Nerve endings can and do function without our conscious consent. The pendulum is beginning to turn against spanking and paddling as science amasses more and more evidence regarding the sexual role played by the buttocks, and the ways in which any touch–with a hand or with a paddle–can create unwelcome but unavoidable arousal.” Dr. Teresa Whitehurst, member of ChristCentered Christians for Nonviolent Parenting (CCNP); clinical psychologist; author of How Would Jesus Raise a Child? (Baker Books, 2003), Project Zero, Harvard’s premier research institution.

    Opponents also hold that spanking is ineffective and that other forms of discipline are more successful at teaching a child to behave properly. Also, unlike taking away a child’s favorite toy, spanking is permanent and cannot be reversed if it is determined that it was not actually warranted. Spanking may lead, it is argued, to psychological damage and even possible PTS syndrome-related effects due to prolonged fear, feelings of mistrust , being un-loved and love-shyness, alike with bullying at school or other forms of abuse.

    The fact that a parent (or other caregiver) is allowed to inflict physical and emotional pain on a child, whereas the same act performed upon another adult would be tantamount to assault, also brings into question the appropriateness of this form of physical punishment. For example, when Michael Fay, a young American man, was caned in Singapore, some Americans expressed outrage against that form of punishment.

    Opponents also claim that spanking teaches children that violence is an appropriate way to treat one who offends. Some believe that spanking, like clear-cut forms of physical abuse, may perpetuate a “cycle of violence” which contributes to violent behavior in the child as an adult. Children learn by example, and those subjected to the deliberate infliction of physical pain “to teach them a lesson” will, the argument goes, learn that this is an appropriate way to treat others who have wronged them. (Though, as noted in the preceding section, pro-spankers would reply that responsible spanking is not revenge, but punishment for an infraction, and that, by being spanked responsibly, children are given an example of responsible parenting that will serve them well when they themselves are parents.)

    It is also argued that there is a significant risk in regards to the trust of a parent. If children feel that they are being threatened by this form of chastisement, it is likely that they may have difficulty believing that the parents are there to protect them because of the claim “I would never hurt you” has been violated. This may impair their ability to follow their parents or do what they advise and to listen to them. (Though, as hinted in the preceding section, pro-spankers would object that it is refusing to spank, rather than spanking, that violates the claim “I will never hurt you”, since in their view one harms the child by not giving due, reasonable and timely punishment and, in their view, responsible spanking is a licit means of inflicting such punishment).

    It is also attested by neurological studies on neuronal stengthening and pain in brain development that children have a much lower pain threshold than adults.[citation needed]

    When “Biblical” pro-spanking advocates use the “he who spares the rod hates his son” quote from Proverbs 13:24 to support their position, some anti-spankers try to turn the tables by noting that Rehoboam, the son of Solomon, to whom the book of Proverbs is traditionally attributed, grew up to be such a despised ruler that he split his nation in two. But since the traditional attribution of Proverbs to Solomon has been disputed by some biblical scholars, this is a dubious line of argument. A better objection against the use of Proverbs 13:24 to support spanking is that the Old Testament, from which the book of Proverbs comes, contains many instructions that we today have no moral obligation to follow, such as that a child of unmarried parents may not enter a place of worship (Deuteronomy 23:2), that a menstruating woman must sacrifice two turtles or pigeons to cleanse herself (Leviticus 15: 19-29), and that the parents of a gluttonous and drunkard child, who repeatedly rebels against them, should denounce the child to the men of the city, who should then execute the child by stoning (Deuteronomy 21:18-21). Such verses are considered instructions but most Christians would not advocate the stoning to death of drunkard children or adulterers. On the other hand, the verses that mention the rod are not instructions but only advice and, yet, are used to rationalize spanking.

    Some religious organizations outside Christianity, such as Hinduism and the Church of the Cosmic Order, oppose spanking as it is against their teachings. [citation needed]

    [edit] Alternatives to spanking
    Main article: non-violent child discipline
    Opponents of spanking state that there are numerous methods of non-violent child discipline which they think are at least as effective as spanking, and without the negative side-effects that they attribute to spanking.

  5. OK… Perhaps I was not clear. I was always difficult to bruise, but when I did it was from major things. Like when you are riding a bike with friends and you decide to play demolition derby with your bikes. I am pretty sure most kids are going to walk away with bruises after that. Have you ever taken wrestling? If so, then you will know that you occasionally will get hurt, especially if you plant wrong, or attempt a take-down, and get hit in the head by someone’s head… that causes bruises and blood. I never got “beaten” for any of the above… but my statement was that I only ever really got bruised by my own activities. Never by my parent.

    As for humility… When you are a kid and you are taken to the house of a person you wronged, and told to apologize, when you are a kid, that feels humiliating, but it is the right thing to do. I was never publicly spanked.

    Next… I never attacked you and I have never said I did not want your opinion… I am challenging your opinion, which I think is my right, last time I checked. If I really did not want your opinion, or felt that I did not want to see what you had to say, then there is this neat little button called “unapproved comment” that makes it go away. I have not done that even though there is a part of me that would like to. I do not because I feel that even though you and I are not agreeing, you have every right to be heard, as do I…

    You and I are going to just have to agree to disagree. I have a couple friends who were also “abused” in catholic school (you know, rulers to the knuckles, visits to the priest for disciplinary action.) and, until I read your comments, I thought we were all normal. Guess I was wrong.

    Now… Argument aside…

    As for your time in the service, for that I do sincerely thank you, as I thank all my brothers and sisters in the armed forces (I hope you accept that with no ill will.) I am ex-Marine and was 8541MOS. I have respect for all fellow soldiers, though I give the Coasties a little more of a hard time (That was a joke.) While I did not see any combat myself, I lost a couple friends in the first Gulf War. I hope that you and I can at least agree on this one idea. I feel that everyone would benefit from time in either the military or the civil service (For those that do not wish to fight or cannot preform military duties for religious or physical reasons.) The Marine Corps was the best thing that ever happened to me… I am sure you will probably agree that it is a life altering experience.

    Sempre Fi.

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