Being a father has been an incredible journey for me. There is really no other way to describe the way I feel about it.
My feelings about love, commitment, priorities, finances, etc… have all changed in the last 14 months since Gideon was born. He dominates my every thought and is what I look forward to each day when I leave work for home. And until he came along, I never knew that a person could feel that kind of love for another person.
Yes… I know, or at least hope, that what I am feeling is no different than what every parent feels for their child. I understand that just because I am a new parent, that does not make me any more knowledgeable than anyone else. But I like to think that I have been granted access to a secret room and all this new information has been made available to me for the first time.
Suddenly I am part of a community… a society of parents.
One of my greatest joys right now, it seeing things through the eye of my son. Seeing things that I have become used to or dismissive of, that have taken on new meaning and new excitement to me, because now I am seeing with Gideon, for the first time, anew.
When he walks up to a flower and points at it, I see him starting to interact with the world around him. And so now I get to experience this with him… the newness of the world as he sees it. When he picks something up and holds it, it is with hands that have not held that object before, or may have but not knowing what it is or what it is called. So I try to share that with him.
He is taking in so much and processing so many new things, it does not surprise me how he wears out so easy through the course of the day, and needs to take naps. There is so much input going through that little mind, that I am certain he reaches points of overload and needs to just “shut down” for a while.
I also think I understand, now, why there is a statistical fact that people with children live a little longer than those without. I think that our own internal clock gets a reset or recharge when we are raising a child. Some of that youth or youthful thought process rubs off on us. The fact that we have an excuse to act like children in order to play with our children has a rejuvenating affect. It allows us to be kids at heart again. And maybe this is just G-d’s way of saying… “Your doing a great job… here are a few more years so you can keep up the good work.”
As always, I thank you for reading and, of course, sharing this journey with me.