Thoughts, Philosophy, Life and Love

Category: Health and Hygene

Moving on and letting go

I am sure I have at least one other piece I have written along these lines, but I thought I would put one more up.  Mostly because talking about this kind of thing allows me a certain level of catharsis that I do not normally have.

It is easy to let go of things.  I mean, there may be an emotional attachment to a thing, like a comb. mirror or a book.  But that attachment is not reciprocated.  There is no returned need or want from that particular thing.

It cannot defend it’s perceived need for you since it is, as far as we know, not sentient or conscious in any way.  Other than any invented emotions that we might assign it through our human need to anthropomorphize things, it has no self awareness.

People, on the other hand, are different.  In many cases, we come to points in our lives where we sit back and have to think about some of the people in our lives and have to think about what role they play in who we are and where we are going.  Then we have to decide if, on our sea of life, they are anchors, sails or rudders.  I know that may sound like a strange analogy, but I heard it once and it applies well to the people in our lives.   Let me explain.

Sails –

On a sailing ship, the sails were the key to movement.  They were, and are still, crucial to the forward movement of the vessel.  They capture he energy of the wind and propel the vessel forward.  The more sails, within reason, the more force and propulsion the vessel has.

People in our lives that act as sails for us are people from whom we draw inspiration and drive.  People who, through their actions or will of personality, give us the drive to succeed.  People that have that unique ability to guide us without us knowing that we are being guided.  People that provide momentum in our lives to move forward, not letting us let ourselves down.

They are important because they are the educators, the mentors and the family that believe in us when we have problems believing in ourselves, and we all have those moments.


Rudders –

Rudders, like sails, can guide your vessel, but are not used for the forward propulsion of it.  They are there for the purpose of steering and pointing your ship in the direction that it needs to move.

If you know anything about sailing ships, you may be saying, “But sails can guide the ship too, they also provide steering!”   And that is true, they do.  But think about the people in your lives.  While there are many people you can probably think of that guide and propel you there are also those that are good at steering you in the right direction, but really not doing much beyond that.

This is not to criticize them, pushing you to succeed may not be what they are good at, but offering advice or showing you that you are heading down the wrong path may be something that they are good at, which makes those people no less important than the people that we see as the sails in our lives.

These are people that can act as the occasional voice of reason when we are about to make a bad decision or set out on an unsafe path.  Someone that might say, “Are you sure you want to invest everything you have in Pickle futures?”


Anchors –

Anchors are obvious.  They are the part of the ship that keeps it where it is, but while and anchor is import as a literal part of a ship, as a vessel.  For a person or people, whose nature needs them to keep moving emotionally, spiritually or socially, an anchor is rarely a good thing.

These anchors are the unfortunate people, and things, in our lives and many times the people that are the hardest to let go.  Often they are people we care about the most, like family or friends. People that, for one reason or another, keep pulling you back.

Unreliable people that make promises that they continuously break, that say they will be there for you, but then when you look for them, they are nowhere to be found.  People that show up when things are good, but disappear with things are rough.

Needy people, people that cannot crawl out of their own issues or darkness, who live for their own pain or failing.  These people are our anchors and will keep us from our own personal successes.

When you run into these people or identify them in your lives, you should address them, understand them and then, if they are unable to move on and allow you to weigh them in, you need to let them go.  Cast them off.

The nautical term for this is “Cut and Run”.  But if you do this, understand that the person may have their own personal woes or issues.  Do not abandon them, but make sure that you do not let their weight, weigh you down and prevent your momentum.

It is a hard thing to do, it can be emotionally wrenching.  Something about the idea of releasing them feels like abandoning them, and to some degree, it is.  But the choice is to hang on and let them pull you down, or let them go so that you can thrive and, in doing so, hope that they too will succeed.

But remember that, using the same analogy above, maybe you are THEIR Sail or Rudder… so do not turn from them completely.  Be there for them, when they are ready, they will let you know and then you can be there for them.


As always.  Thanks for reading.


Dealing with hatred…

How do you deal with hatred?

I have an issue in my life where, for the past few months my hatred for what a person has done to me has consumed me.  I cannot say that I hate the person, I am certain that in their mind their actions were, in some juvenile way, appropriate.

The sad part, in my book, is that this experience has set me back several years in personal development.  It is not easy for me to open up and make friends, it never has been.  I have always been too critical of people, always expecting them to screw me in some way, shape or form.  I know this is a protective measure that has, over the years, become a neurosis and a personality flaw, it is has protected me.  In a manner of thinking, there is now a little voice in my head saying, “See… we told you so…”

But hatred…  that is an emotion I do not like to feel and it drains me… grates on my being…  pulls me down.  Hatred, for me, has always been a trigger for depression.  When I feel it, it consumes me so that I end up not practicing my routines that keep me from feeling down and out.  I have never really been GOOD about handling hatred.

My first response is to lash out at people, if possible the person that triggered it.  That not being an option here and actually not being a logical or smart way to handle it, the next option would be to talk it out with the person in question… that, too, is not an option given the circumstances.

So what do you do when there is not outlet, no solace, no way to clear the air?  (No… seriously, it’s a real question… not rhetoric.)

I know that we all hate from time to time.  We all have things which we are exposed to that cause us pain, frustration, hatred, disappointment, etc…  Things that make us want to lash out, to cry, to scream, to want just go sit in a dark room for a few years.

So… tell me your stories… or examples and if you have something that you would like to share that you think is a magic bullet for such things, do share.


Organ donation…


This message is more of a call out to all of you who read this, for you to spread the word.

I have a friend that is in need of a Kidney.  This is not something that is down the line or at her leisure, but something whose need is immediate.

Please follow this link to her Facebook location.   Holly Prior

What is important to understand is that you do not even have to be a match for the person in need anymore.  There is a program at UCLA called the Kidney Exchange Program.  This is a program where you go in and donate your healthy Kidney and it is placed in queue for someone in need; and remember… if you are healthy and in good shape, you can live a perfectly normal life with one kidney.

While this does not guaranty that the person you know, like Holly in this case, will get your kidney, spreading the word and getting more people in the system will make the likelihood of someone like Holly finding a compatible match.

As with anything like this, you should discuss this with your doctor before you contact the UCLA program.  But if you can, imagine the life-changing gift you will be sharing with someone out there?

The cure and the cause…

Why is it that medication seems to have more potential side effects than benefits?

I will use my own experience to demonstrate…

Back in March of 2007 I was the recipient of a sinus infection. It was bad, but not so bad that I was in real bad shape. I decided to make sure that it did not get worse, and went to my doctor, who prescribed me with Avalox. After taking this medicine for a period of about a month, I ended up with an intestinal infection because the antibiotics killed all the good bacteria in my intestines. Then I started taking another antibiotic to kill the bacteria that the other antibiotic caused to proliferate, but it did not work. Finally I was put on another antibiotic, called Vancamiacine, that did finally kill the bad bacteria.

Add to all this my own personal regimen of taking “Probiotics” and other cleansing procedures, and you will understand that the last several months were a little uncomfortable.

Where am I going with this? Yes… I can hear you asking this across the wires…

I am trying to understand why the cure is sometimes as bad as the cause… maybe even worse in some cases. The experience has caused me to be more observant of the potential side effects of certain medicines. I read the labels, I go to WebMD and read all the details of the medicine that I was prescribed and I will visit the manufacturers web sites. I have also started researching potential holistic methods to cure or help with problems.

There are probably some of you out there that are saying that you cannot get the same results with homeopathic or holistic treatments, and they are not as effective, and in many cases you would be right. There are many natural treatments that will not solve the problems, but there are also many cases where the medicines that doctors give us where there are side effects that are not always explained to you.

The fact that you are not told of all the potential side effects is not the fault of the doctor, and not even always the fault of the Pharmacist. This is why you should ALWAYS ask for a Pharmacist consult… they all offer this service and personally I think WalGreens, if you have one near you, is the best. They will be able to go over any concerns you might have about the drugs you are going to be taking. Doctors are not always aware of what the drugs they prescribe can do. They know what they they are designed for a certain purpose, and in some cases they know that the drug manuacturer gives them some nice freebies with the samples they drop off, but the Pharmacist really is the one to ask about the drugs.

With this piece, I am not trying to say that medicine is bad. It is not. But we have to be careful what we take and how we take it. There are times when a doctor prescribes something that maybe we should ask if there is another way to achieve the same results, just without the medicine. Face it, we have drugs for everything these days. If you need an erection, need to sleep, need to lose weight, need to concentrate, need to feel happy and about anything else you can think of, can be fixed or patched up with some drug. But do we really know what these drugs will do to us in the long run? We are so interested in what we need from them now, that we might not be thinking about what the result will be twenty, thirty or forty years down the line. More than likely nothing will happen, but you never know.

Most of this is because of the “I want it now!” society we have created for ourselves. We do not want to wait for the weight to drop off through exercise and good eating, we want a pill that will help us “lose weight while we sleep.” Then look at what happened with Phen Fen. We do not want to spend time playing with our children, and let them be kids, so they give them Ritalin, to calm them down. Kids will be rambunctious, that’s what kids do… why do we need to dope them up?

I am getting a little off topic, and into a subject I would like to write about in another post, so I will close this post with these final thoughts:

1. While seeing your doctor is a good idea when you are ill, if he gives you a prescription, TALK to him about it, see if there are other, non-pharmaceutical options.

2. If you get a prescription, TALK to your Pharmacist. They went to school specifically for the art of putting together your medicine. They will have a better understanding of it than your doctor might. They, too, may know of some holistic or homeopathic remedies for things you might be suffering.

3. Eat, exercise, love and live better. You can live a longer happier life, I think, if you just LIVE your life and stop worrying about your life.

Wash your hands!!!

This is a little different than my usual posts, but enjoy.

I pay attention to things, little things and big things. I also tend to dwell on things that bother me. That being said, I will vent a little here about something I noticed some time ago, and then started taking a mental score of.

How often do you wash your hands?

I am not so much talking about washing up before meals or after spending the afternoon working on the Ford. Moreso I am talking about washing your hands after you have used the toilet.

Being a regular user of toilets myself, and having been so for most of my life, I have noticed that this number is surprising low. Myself? I am rather anal about this topic, I turn the water to hot (if hot water is available) then wash my hands in near scalding water with lots of soap, then on my way out of the facility I use a paper towel to open the door.

What my rant covers is how many times I have used public restrooms and listened to people come in, do their business, then leave… WITHOUT washing their hands.

Now… What a person does regarding their own health is none of my business, in fact there are some people that I could really care less what they do to themselves, however washing your hands after using the restroom is not about personal hygene as much as it is about courtesy and PUBLIC health.

Who knows what problems a person might have that they could be sharing with others through their own lack of forethought? Imagine someone using the toilet, not washing up, then grabbing a doorknob with their hand… now another person, say maybe YOU walk through that SAME door on your way out… you may have washed your hands, but now that you grabbed that same knob, you now may be sharing some of the same funk that was on the other person’s hand.

Now you go out and enjoy a hot dog or Hamburger, or and other food that requires use of your hands to eat… but you are not just eating that food, you are also enjoying any of the funk that came off the other person’s genitals.

Yes, I know that this is disgusting, and probably many of you have already stopped reading at this point. Yes, I also know that there are not many diseases or illnesses that can be transmitted this way… but that is not the point.

The point is that not washing your hands after you have visited the toilet is a disgusting habit that you should break yourself of, quickly.

When you think about it, you might not even want to know how many times a day you shake hands with, are touched by, patted or even served food by someone who may have just finished wiping their ass and decided that washing their hand was a little too time consuming.

Think about that for a while, then be polite to yourself and to others and wash your hands the next time you visit the toilet.

This has been another Public Service Announcement by….

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