How do you deal with hatred?
I have an issue in my life where, for the past few months my hatred for what a person has done to me has consumed me. I cannot say that I hate the person, I am certain that in their mind their actions were, in some juvenile way, appropriate.
The sad part, in my book, is that this experience has set me back several years in personal development. It is not easy for me to open up and make friends, it never has been. I have always been too critical of people, always expecting them to screw me in some way, shape or form. I know this is a protective measure that has, over the years, become a neurosis and a personality flaw, it is has protected me. In a manner of thinking, there is now a little voice in my head saying, “See… we told you so…”
But hatred… that is an emotion I do not like to feel and it drains me… grates on my being… pulls me down. Hatred, for me, has always been a trigger for depression. When I feel it, it consumes me so that I end up not practicing my routines that keep me from feeling down and out. I have never really been GOOD about handling hatred.
My first response is to lash out at people, if possible the person that triggered it. That not being an option here and actually not being a logical or smart way to handle it, the next option would be to talk it out with the person in question… that, too, is not an option given the circumstances.
So what do you do when there is not outlet, no solace, no way to clear the air? (No… seriously, it’s a real question… not rhetoric.)
I know that we all hate from time to time. We all have things which we are exposed to that cause us pain, frustration, hatred, disappointment, etc… Things that make us want to lash out, to cry, to scream, to want just go sit in a dark room for a few years.
So… tell me your stories… or examples and if you have something that you would like to share that you think is a magic bullet for such things, do share.