The SamuraiMarine

Thoughts, Philosophy, Life and Love

Things I learned from watching David Caruso

As you may gather from this post, I am not a big fan of David Caruso. If point of fact, there is only one movie that I have seen him in where I truly like his acting, and that is in the role of “Kit Kat” in Hudson Hawk. If you have not seen this movie, then you must. It is a quirky and fun movie that has no intrinsic redeeming qualities except that it is a fun watch.

But I am getting off topic…

Ten things I have learned from watching David Caruso..

  1. No matter how bad I think my life is, I can always watch David Caruso.
  2. Cocking your head at a 45 degree angle has the dual effect of making you look like an escapee from the “short bus” or someone who has chronic cervical vertebra problems.
  3. Glasses are only for looking looking kewl going on or off.
  4. There are certain people that cannot make the Akimbo thing work, no matter how cool they think they are.
  5. Never give a CSI a gun, sunglasses and a sports coat.
  6. Never have a relationship with your brother’s girl.
  7. If you are prone to using little on-line quips, make sure that you, or your writer, has a sense of Irony, humor or at least has practiced one-liners at some point in their life.
  8. Do not encourage your coroner to talk to the recently dead. It borders on the slightly creepy to moderately insane.
  9. Leading a CSI team means never having to say your sorry.
  10. If I am ever dying in Miami, I will drag myself to Fort Lauderdale in the event that there is even the slightest possibility that there is a person like David Caruso on staff in the Miami police dept.’s CSI team.
Samuel Wright
Writer / Father / Listener / Philosopher
I am a starving writer living in the backwater of California, in a place known mostly for Buck Owens and Valley Fever called Bakersfield.

This site is my release. A place for me to talk about things that annoy, please, or excite me.

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6 Comments

  1. grant

    hey, I’d be David Caruso if I could have Kali on my team. She’s smoking hot…..and in another series used to play a republican, what more could a guy want……

  2. Personally I think they should rewrite the Horatio character as such: Suffers a head injury, remains a CSI but the resulting personality is a mix of Rain Man, Monk and Dr. Frankenfurter from Rocky Horror Picture Show.

    THEN I would start watching CSI: Miami again.

    OR… He could get a demotion and transfer… Imagine, if you will…

    CSI: Maricopa, Ca.

    Unfortunately he would also be the Chief of Police, Fire Captain, Gas Station attendant, Mayor and run Tina’s restaurant.

  3. Great post!

  4. Not so much that it is a hick town, but it is a small town. Personally, except for certain elements, I do not mind towns that size, especially as I get older.

  5. Kelly

    hey, thats LOW making fun of Maricopa.TRUE,,,but low. They can’t help being inbred backwards hics. Oh and he would also have to deliver papers,and be the sanitation person too!

  6. Ang

    CSI: Maricopa, Ca…. HAHA! THAT’s some funny stuff!

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