Crank??? Really?

A while  back the wife and I watched a movie called  Crank.  This was not really something that I was looking forward to, but to make the wife happy, I relented.  I knew she had a thing for Jason Statham, and I really think that this is the only reason she wanted to see it.

Well… in the end of that movie, for those of you who did not see it, you see the Hero of the movie fall from a helocopter and plunge about a thousands feet to the street in the middle of the town.  The last scene is him hitting the ground and then one last blink before it fades to black.

First off, lets JUST look at the physics behind this.  Any person, no matter how tough or strong, that falls from that high, is going to be nothing more that a puddle of bloody goo when it hits the street.  The only cleanup you are going to need to worry about is that which requires a mop and a shop-vac.

Now there is a new movie coming out called “Crank: High Voltage”.  Staring Jason as the same “Chev Chelios” character.  Only this time, it appears that some folks come acros his body, revive him and, so the previews appear to be saying, harvest his organs.

OK…  First off…  are we supposed to believe that there is any way that a human body could survive a fall from that height… and, not only that, be in good enough condition to be harvested for anything more than compost.

In the previews that we see in the theaters we not only see that he is alive, but almost unscathed.  But this time he is trying to keep himself alive after the people that are harvesting his “parts” have taken his heart and replaced it with a artificial one, which happens to look like a K-Mart brand Jarvik heart.

The plot, this time, is that he has a dying battery for his artificial heart and he must run around town, through various weak plots and exploits, to locate his own heart and get it to a doctor so that he can have it placed back in his own body.  All the while he needs to keep recharging his battery.

My only thought as I sat in the theaters and watched this proview was that it is sad that this is the best that Hollywood can come up with for entertainment.  I cannot even see that this would be a big draw for the most die-hard Statham fan.  This appears to be one of those movies that the writers were either playing rock, paper, scissors or based the story on a poorly played game of craps.

Strangely enough, Naty has admitted that she will not be watching this movie.  Even thought Jason is in it, she has desided that this one is just a little too dumb even to watch just for him.

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