I have gone back and corrected the dates, as the decision was made to deliver the baby on the 17th of this month, as opposed the the original date.
This will be the last installment of this series, and I hope that those of you who have taken the time to visit my site and read them, have enjoyed these and shared some of your own experiences with me. One thing that I have learned through this is that there seems to be no end to the kindness of those that have gone through what I have and the help that they are all willing to provide. It is as though a kind of unity or community exists among those who are expecting and those who have children.
In this last installment, I think I will just touch on dreams and plans. Those things that all parents think about when they have kids on the way, that I always laughed about when I saw others do it, and now am laughing at myself for doing the same.
To say that I have grand aspirations for this child is an understatement. I seriously doubt that there are many parents or would-be-parents, that sit back and say, “I want my child to grow up to be a world class douche-bag.”, though I may be wrong… who knows.
We all hope that our kids grow up to be doctors, scientists, inventors, etc. While there are exceptions, many don’t achieve this dream (whether it be their dream or that of their parents is not important.) But that does not mean that we, as the parents love them any less or think anything less of them.
I think the hardest part for me to accept, when the time comes, will be when my wife and I are no longer the center of our child’s universe. When that time comes that they stop being YOUR little girl or little boy, and discover everything that the world has to offer. This is but a natural part of life, and something everyone goes through.
I write this now, weeks before I meet this child, yet I already want to share everything I am with it. Not so much to make it what I never was, as someone recently suggested, but to share my love of just KNOWING. Knowing about the world, asking questions, learning why things work, how things break, all these things that we seem to take for granted as adults, but through the eyes of a child, we can live through again. To become a child again in their eyes and live vicariously through them to experience the wonder.
I have been taking great joy in sharing the pregnancy with my wife, and yes, we are sharing it. People laugh at me and make little jokes when I say that, but you do share this experience. I may not be experiencing all the pain and feelings that she is feeling, but that does not make my part any less. All the worries, excitement, joy of feeling that first kick against her belly as the baby begins to fire up those muscles. Those experiences are both of ours.
I hope, in the fullness of time, when this child is older, that they read this blog, and see what I have written. Every bit of this is for him or her as much as it is for me to get these feelings out in print. I have no idea what the personality of this child will be, I have no way to predict the paths that they will have open to them or the choices that they will take. But I think that between my wife and I, and all the people that we have surrounded ourselves with that will offer a positive and creative environment for him or her, that this child has every chance in the world of being a great person. Maybe not famous, rich or popular, but in the areas that it matters, a great person.
To you… my readers. I thank you so very much for coming with me on these first steps to our adventure. I have enjoyed sharing this with you. I may not know who many of you are, but I hope that you have enjoyed reading my journey through the last 10 weeks of our pregnancy. The most exciting part of the journey is just about to begin for us.
In closing, I am reminded of a line by Jawaharlal Nehru…
“We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.”