“We never really think about where we are going, until we get there and realize that we did not want to be where we ended up.”
I am not sure where I heard that, but there is a certain amount of truth to it.
How often have you been working on something or wandering, then ended up in a train of thought that you really did not want to be in or can not figure out why you ended up there?
Einstein used to talk about his “Thought (Mental) Experiments”, and through them, he accomplished a lot when it came to his later theories. I guess if you were to look at it from a modern point of view, you would say that he was using a primitive form of Virtual Reality to visualize what he was doing. With me, it is not so much experiments as it is wanderings. I have always suffered a certain amount of what I call, Mental Wanderlust. Ask anyone who knew me in school… I was rarely on ground level, and my head was always in the clouds. I would be writing stories, drawing spaceships, talking about science fiction and anything else that was interesting at the time. I was in good company, though. Many of the people I hung out with were not too far removed from my wanderings, but where the difference lies is in the fact that they did not let it get ahold of them the way I did. Mine actually affected my grades and my relations with others, theirs did not.
I still wander, and probably about as much as I did then. Today I channel it into writing, like what you are seeing here. I find that this is the best form of therapy that a person with my dilemma can have. Writing about things that you enjoy is one of the most pleasurable curses that you can have. It does not matter so much if anyone reads my work as it does that I am doing something that others might enjoy and that I love doing. I guess you could say that I am giving of myself freely in the hopes that others might find some piece of wisdom that they can store in their own files, somewhere.
Through my mental wanderings, I learned that there were many paths that I wanted to take as I grew up. One of the first things I can recall telling my mother was that I wanted to be a fireman… then again, what kid did not want to be one when they were young. Then came all the other things I wanted to be… Policeman, Oceanographer, Physicist, etc… But now that I have gotten to this place and time in my life, I look back on all those things, and relish the memories that I have of those times. I know now that I will be none of those things, but I really do not look at that thought with a sense of remorse. Instead I look at it as one would look back through a mall they have just visited. All the places that you could have gone and things that you could have done. But there are more malls, and more stores. Life is long, and I have a lot more to see.
So I did not get to be a doctor, or any of the plethora of other things I wanted to be as I grew up. There are many things that I have to be greatful for that I might not have had otherwise, and the greatest of those is my wife. I cannot help but think that had I been succesful in any of my other efforts in life, I would probably have never met her. So the question arises… Should we follow the pack, of follow our heart? Should we listen to those around us or to our dreams?
There are few people in my life that have made a difference… but those that have, and who have truly guided me, have lead me to understand that most of the choices I have made up to this point, have been the right ones. Those people who I am referring to know who I am talking about, and need no introduction. But they have been the signposts on my life’s path, and will continue to be for the remainder of it.Â The nice thing about the people that truly make a difference in your life is that even when they are no longer there for you, their echoes still guide you throughout your life.
We, every one of us, are given choices. We have a map that is built into our soul and our guide is nothing more that our heart and the people we meet through our lives. If we listen to both, and follow the directions that we learn from them, then we will lead a full and good life, and in turn, we will guide others through our actions and advise.Â In a sense, this is immortality.
Thank you, to all those out there who have been and will continue to be my signposts.