Tonight I watched the movie “Alien”, this will make the… oh, I stopped counting so long ago it is not even worth mentioning.Â Let me just say that I have the script memorized and will speak the lines before they are spoken on the idiot box.
To be fair, I do like this movie.Â If I am willing to watch it that many times, then that much must be obvious, right?Â Right.
But there is an important thing that has always stood out to me, that is:Â Why in the hell did she not just leave the darned cat on the ship and take Parker and Lambert and get the hell off (the ship, that is… this was not a porn flick)?
Don’t take this wrong… I love cats!Â I think that they are great and I would be truly saddened if something happened to mine.Â But get real for a moment.Â If my house is burning down and Sally and Critter decide at that particular moment that they want to play hide and seek… I am sorry… looks like broiled kitty is on the menu!
… Wait… we are talking about a movie.Â What do you mean, “Get Real!”
Think about it…Â someone writing this script had to sit down and think, “What can we do to slow her down?Â Let’s create a bond with her and a… uh… Turtle! no, too docile.Â Canary! no… it would have a heart attack the moment someone screamed and we would go through two or three every scene.Â Ah… a dog!Â No… they like almost everyone and would end up wanting to play with the Alien or end up chasing it out an airlock.Â Hey… A CAT!!!Â They are aloof, like to hide, make an interesting hissing sound when upset.Â Perfect.Â Now lets make this Rippley chick have a greater bond for the cat than her crew!”
So someone thought up the idea that an officer, pardon me… a warrant officer (apologies to my brother Scott.) would put the life of a cat before the life of her crew.
If this had been me?Â Let the cat out of the little glass box and run free.Â Cat’s can figure things out pretty well, and who knows?Â It might find it’s way to the shuttle on it own.Â If not, then Jonesy would become one with the universe.Â He would become “Star Stuff”, in the words of my Hero… Carl Sagan.Â The kittie would cease to be.
Heck… it might have even made and interesting story line to have Rippley take the cat out of the box and throw it at the alien.Â A clawing, spitting, overall pissed off cat would have kept the alien busy for a couple minutes while Rippley got away.
But…Â I am not dumb.Â I rewinded the movie.Â I plotted where the story would have gone from the moment they decided to abandon the ship and leave, had she left the frikken cat.Â The movie would only have gone on for about another ten minutes.Â This would not have been a good alternate ending and likely would have never made the director’s cut of the special edition DVD box set.
Maybe this is a good reason why I am not a producer!