There are a great many things in life that annoy me to no end.Â Â The list is, in fact, to long for me to place here without losing you, my loyal readers, before I get to my point.
Last night I had dinner with the wife and folks at Applebee’s.Â First off, Applebee’s is not a BAD place… I consider them to be something akin to Denny’s younger, hipper, brother.Â The one that makes all the friends and stays out drinking all night, but who has poor taste in food and eating habits.
One annoyance that seems to be a constant is the ever-present birthday.Â Of all my pet peaves, this is one of the worst, and they always seem to congregate around me.Â It’s like there is this sign over my head that says, “Have your birthday celebration next to this guy!”
It is not the celebration itself, that I can accept.Â It is this desire that people have to hear the restaurant staff attempt, very badly, to sing “Happy Birthday” to you.Â Add to this that if you really look at the faces of the staffers that are singing, you see that they are really not enjoying themselves either.Â There are, more often than not, pained looks on their faces, covered with the mock show of appreciation for your “Special Day.”Â Sometimes these looks have the appearance that the singer is trying to push out a turd that they have been hanging on to for the last three days with lots of fiber and little water.
On top of this, they always… without fail… choose to sing right in the middle of the most important part of whatever I happen to be talking about at the time.Â Just as I am about to drop that pearl of wisdom that my captive audience, at my table, is waiting for… “Happy Happy Birthday”.Â Concentration is then broken… and I have to wait for the humiliation of both the Singers and the Recipient of the song to pass.Â Then, if I am lucky, the point of my story or conversation will not be lost.
Just remember.Â Friends don’t let friends tell waiters or waitress’ that they are having a birthday.