Discovering God

I have never particularly cared for the term “I found God”.  It always seemed, among other things, so cliché.  There are also times that people use it as if they are looking for a way to try and convince others that they have, through some divine or mythical process, transcended the evil that they had done in their lives by attaining a higher understanding of God.

I will not tell you that I have “Found God”.  I will say, however, that over the years and as I have grown older, I have become more spiritually aware.  I have started to understand that the more I think I know about “Life, the Universe and Everything”, the more I see that some things are not easily answered by science, even though it plays a strong role in what happens.

I do not believe, as many do, that our lives are directed by God.  I think that we are all given a set of tools to work with and what we choose to do with them makes us who we are.  Some choose to do good, some to do evil.  Some just ride that center line with no real leaning towards one side or the other.  But every one of us has the very same capacity for good or evil as every other one of us.  Regardless of how we are brought up or the social class we are brought up in, the decisions are ours.  We each have to decide what we do with and where we take our lives.  Yes… some of us do have more challenges set before us, but those only help make us stronger and more prepared for what life might deal us in the future.

At one time I seriously thought about becoming a Rabbi.  After studying the requirements and learning was entailed, I decided that it was too much responsibility for me and chose not to.  This has been a decision I have grown to regret.  I feel, looking at the person that I have become, that I would have been a very good Rabbi.  I also look at the people in my life who have been the most influential and I discover that many of them have been members of the Clergy…  Rabbi Stanley Robin… Rabbi Stephen Peskind… Rabbi Rosenberg CDR USN …  plus various Priests, Pastors and Deacons that I have known and spoken with over the years.

Does all that I have said mean that I have found God?  No… I do not think that anyone “Finds God”.  I think that it is more a case that you need to understand what you need in your life and what answers you are looking for.  I guess you could say it is like “Looking for love.”  Everyone has it to give, you just need to learn how to accept it and return it… God, in whatever way, shape or form you perceive him or her to be, is no different.  We all have some feelings about God… we all go through periods of doubt, rebellion and contemplation.  Some chose to follow a spiritual path and become Clergy.  Others decide to sit on the sidelines and just watch and wait; then again others defiantly deny that there is any such thing as a higher power.  For some, though, at some point, through your learning, understanding and living, God, or your understanding of him, will find you.

Who knows… we might all be wrong, but that is something that only time will tell.  For now, I would like to think that maybe there is someone or something out there that is holding back some of the cards.  A dealer that has palmed part of the deck and is waiting for us to play our hands.

For those of you who are used to reading my work… no… I have not gone strange.  I have always wanted to write a piece like this, but have always worried about how it would be taken.  Most people that know me do not know how my spiritualism works.  I keep my beliefs close to me and am not quick to share them.  This is the first time I really have, so I hope that you appreciate what I had to say.  As always… I thank you for taking the time to read this.