The SamuraiMarine

Thoughts, Philosophy, Life and Love

Category: The Dumbshit Zone

Kicking the can.

What is our fascination with kicking things?

I was watching a program the other day and I watched as one of the characters went out of his way to kick a can that was in the road.  When I saw this, I felt myself kind of chuckle at it and think that what he did was silly.

Then it dawned on me… that this was something that I did…  Not just years ago when I was a child, but now.

Since watching that show, a show that I am now completely unable to recall the name of, I have been paying more attention to this, and I am now noticing more people that will kick stuff while walking.  Not just the obvious things, like cups, cans, etc.  But these people are kicking rocks, bottles and things like that.  So the condition is serious, it would seem.

I think that I shall try a little experiment.  Several people walk through the parking lot where I work on a daily basis.  I see people walking to and from lunch, walking for some exercise whilst on their breaks, walking to get the mail.  I wonder… if I were to buy a box of cheap golf balls, and place one strategically in the middle of the driveway, how long would it be before someone kicked it?

I think I will start this once the weather warms up. Maybe in May.

If I do this, I will post the pictures I take on here and keep all of you informed.

Is there a Super-Villain in our future?

I will start this off simply enough with stating the fact that I read a lot.  Not always actually picking up a book and physically going through it, but I also hit the occasional audio-book.  My favorite topics are usually History and Science, though I have always had a great fondness for Science Fiction works as well.  Mostly I will stay with the more realistic or truly philosophical stuff, but then there are the times that I like to read the things that are really out there.  This brings me to the topic of this article.

Is there a real “Super Villain” in store for the world?

I know…  when I say super villain, people automatically get mental pictures of Dr. Doom, Magneto or Lex Luthor.  People that media has established as the archetypes for what is meant to be true evil.  Villains that seem almost indestructible, except for that one little chink in the armor that only certain people know about and they never make any attempt to protect that spot.  A good case in point is what I would like to think of as the “Death Star Flaw”.  This is the process of building an almost impervious fortress or system that has only one weakness that is usually unprotected and poorly monitored.

In reality, I do have to wonder if there is a potential for someone to take the global stage as a world-wide threat to peace.  Someone who, through the ability of either terror or power, can cause the powers of the world to stop and take notice.  Not for the sake of awe, at least not awe in the good sense, bust because suddenly this person or group exposed a weakness that no one thought about and thus never thought about protecting.  Something along those lines.

Personally I think that the potential for such a person does exist.  It really would not be that hard when you think about it.  All you would need is someone that would be able to start by befriending the powers of the world.  A person or group that would start off by being trusted by everyone, at least all the law abiding people and leaders, of the world.   This would put him, her or them in a position to infiltrate the governments of those trusting countries.

Once that has been accomplished, it would simply be a matter of those key people to make a move to either topple those governements, their leaders or expose their weakness’ to the hostile group.

Oddly enough, this almost sounds familiar, does’nt it?  Yeah…  it’s called the United Nations.

Ok… I am not saying that the UN is going to become the next global villain, but if you think about it… REALLY think about it, is it really that hard of an idea to wrap your minds around?

In reality, I think that we are closer to something along the lines of a SUper Villain that you and I might think.  These days we are so busy bickering and fighting with ourselves that I do not think we are paying close enough attention to the things that might be happening out there.  People that are slowly and quietly gathering strength in the shadows and waiting for us to be completely unprepared.

I suspect that when and if this time comes, people like Osama Bin Laden and his ilk may be the least of our worries.

Then again… I tend to go off on these mental wanderings quite often.  I would like to think of them as little philosophic field trips into my own thoughts.  I will wonder around a while, take some notes, talk with some of the locals and then sit at the PC and write what I have found out.

Think about it though… just for a moment.  If someone like me can sit here and think about things like this for the sake of mental excercizes, then there are many more out there that are perfectly capable of getting together the resources to eventually act on things like this.

I am not trying to make people paranoid, nor am I telling you to stop trusting anyone, just be “aware”.  We all need to pay attention to what happens around us and in the world.

Thanks for taking a moment to listen to my prattle.  Too much caffeine today.

Beyond child abuse…

Warning… this article is based on a issue that has me angry… I may use some strong language!

It is bad enough when a person abuses a child by beating them or mentally torturing them.  These are the common forms of abuse that we are used to, if you can ever truly get used to something like that.  But what has happened here, in my home town, goes beyond sick.

Angel Vidal Mendoza Sr. has been accused of, allegedly, biting his son’s eyes out, leaving him permanently blinded.  He then proceeded to start hacking at his own legs with an axe.  You can follow the story through either of the two links below.

Bakersfield Californian or the Silicon Valley MercuryNews

First off, to be as fair as I possibly can be in a case like this, Mendoza is awaiting trial, where I hope he gets exactly what is coming to him (Unfortunately, in California, that probably will not be much), so all these accusations presented by the legal system, and thusly my dialogue below, are dependent on that verdict.

Now… for my take on this.

What kind of sick bastard, drug induced or not, do you have to be to do something like this to a child?  This is a child that will, more than likely, never see again.  His only chance will be a transplant at some point in the future.  This is a child who will be scarred for life because of what his father, allegedly, did to him.  A person that is supposed to love and nurture the child.  Teach him to be a good person and to live a good life, but whom, allegedly, took away his child’s sight.

If there were EVER a case for someone to cease to exist, it would be this person.  This Mendoza character is a walking poster-boy for why there is such a thing at a death penalty.  The only problem is that the death penalty is too easy of a way out for him.

The REAL punishment should be for him to be cleaned up, become free of the influences of the drugs, and made to look at pictures of his son’s mutilated face for the rest of his life.  Made to see his son learn to live life as a blind citizen and grow up missing all the things that his father took away from him.  Then… after this child has grown to be a man, confront this father with one thing.

Confront his father with forgiveness for his stupidity.

My personal message to Mendoza?  Once you have been proven guilty of what you have done… and once you are cleaned up and off the drugs.  I hope you have nightmares every night of your natural life, of what you have done to this child.  I hope that not a moment passes that something does not remind you of what you have done and who you did it to.  I hope the image of your son’s empty eye sockets are burned into your mind forever.

I am not normally a hateful person, but you… you are, allegedly, the exception to my rule about not “hating” people.

You are, allegedly, a monster and if there is, indeed, a hell, I doubt even they will take you.

Good Day.

I aint as good as I once was…

Toby Keith is a true wordsmith, but unfortunately for me, I found out this last week exactly how true his words are.

As you may have read in my last post, I celebrated my fortieth birthday.  To help me celebrate, a couple friends took me to a place called the “Tilted Kilt”, an establishment known for their drinks and their scantily clad waitresses.  Both of which I will personally attest to the drinks and the attire.

When we arrived, we were seated in the section that was waited by a very nice girl named Monique.  I started with a beer and an appetizer…  and that, so they say, was the beginning of the end.

I learned that night, that I cannot drink or party the way I did, say, twenty years ago.  In fact, after my evening was complete, I was glad that I did not drive… and I was glad that the guest bathroom was so close to the main entrance to my house.  To give you an idea of how bad it was, here is a list of the drinks that I had that evening, in no particular order.

1.  Four – Blue Moon Ales

2.  One – Red-Headed Slut (the drink, as far as I know.)

3.  Two – Scottish Orgasms

4.  One – Kamakazi

There was a time, many years ago, when I could walk into a bar, or a friends house and drink with the best of them.  I was a regular at such places like “John Bryant’s” or “Woody’s”, here in Bakersfield.  I can recall putting away as many as twelve beers and nine Kamikaze’s in one evening and waking up the next morning with little or no hang over.

When I made it home after this night of drinking, I was a mess.  My wife was the best, more than willing to clean up the mess I made while praying to Ralph at the porcelain throne.  Taking a moment or two to laugh at me in my moment of suffering and bring me my water and napkins when I needed them.

In the end, it took me a full day to recover and several glasses of water and a hand full of aspirin.

No… I am certainly not what I once was… but you know, who is?

Have I learned my lesson?  Probably not…

Will I do it again?  I will, of course, say no.  But in ten years, who is to say.  You only turn fifty once.

The Tilted Kilt is a great place to hang out and I plan to go there from time to time.

One thing I did learn from this experience is that I need to go hang out at places like this more often.  Not to get drunk, but just to have fun and hang out.

Happy drinking and happy living, all!

The truth about Area 51 and other government secrets

Occasionally I will let myself be sucked into watching one of the many programs that comes on about Alien Abductions, UFOs and Area 51. Last night was no exception. I watched yet another program on Area 51 and the secret tests and planes. Let’s not forget the UFOs that we are supposedly backward engineering, leading to much of the technology that we have today.

First I will address the UFOs. Are their UFOs? Well… anything that flies and that you do not know what it is, is an UFO. So does that not meet the requirement? OK… so I was a bit evasive. But all I will say is that this is a big universe, I would be disappointed if we were the only “intelligent” beings in it. Why have they not visited us? Why would they want to? What do we have to offer them? We are a self destructive, xenophobic society and have a tendency to destroy or take apart much of what we do not understand. For much of our history, we have been looking for new and exciting ways to destroy each other, all a extra-terrestrial visit would give us is something new to feel threatened by right now.

Alien Abductions… where do I start here? Assuming that a visiting alien is anything like us, it is plausible. Look at how we treat animals when we collect them, if there are aliens out there that are anything like us, why should we expect them to be any nicer to sub-species than we are. I would hope that any truly evolved alien species that has developed interstellar spacecraft and travel would have been smart enough to think of something like the “Prime Directive” of Star Trek fame. But I may be being too hopeful. After all, the early seafarers and explorers were doing all their work in the name of science, conquest and fortune… I may be a little wishful on the science part, but a guy has to have dreams.

I will not completely discount alien abductions… if the above is true, and there are aliens out there that are examining life that they find, then collection and examination is the cornerstone of the scientific process. But some of the other stories you hear are a little out there. You would think that any aliens that took the time to cross the ocean of space to get here, would be interested in something more that fondling overweight men and women (since it seems that those are the only ones that report it.) and inserting anal probes, then leaving chips of metal and things that look hauntingly like genital warts, on people. Chances are that if they collect a specimen, they are going to do a full examination, probably leading up to a vivisection or autopsy. Again… I have never been abducted. However if given the chance, I guess I would not complain too much if someone like Chiana from Farscape or one of those Orion Slave Girls took me for some investigation. Might be fun.

Now to Area 51 (or any other secret government base, for that matter)… OK… So Groom lake is off limits to us and they may be playing around with mysterious secret weapons and planes.

WHO CARES!!! What makes us think that there is anything going on there that we need to know about? There are certain things that go on in this country that we really do not need to know about for our own protection. There are probably MANY places like Dreamland/Groom Lake/Area 51, and some of them we do not even know about. But the question stands… why DO we need to know? In spite of this fear that everyone seems to have that the government is hiding stuff because it could hurt us, and this feeling that we, as Americans, have the right to know what our government is doing, we do not. Imagine what kind of Nation this would be if all of a sudden, one day, the Pentagon decides. “Hey… Let’s open up the bases and the various programs we have to public scrutiny. Full Disclosure, fellas! Unzip and whip it out!”

Secrecy exists for a reason. It is not only to protect our secrets and our projects from the “Bad Guys”<Insert evil mustachioed man in black fedora and cape>, but it is also to protect our citizens. If everyone knows about all the programs that the government is working on, then it will not be long before the “Bad Guys”, (remember them… they are still out there!) start thinking up ways to counter the steps we take. People not knowing what we (our government) is doing is in our best interest as a nation. If they (the government) ever decides subscribe to this fantasy that some people have that the “people need to know”, then we have effectively shot ourselves in the foot. A good analogy I like to use is this, but you have to be old enough to remember playing board games, and specifically one called “Battleship.” When you play Battleship, the whole point is to not let the other player see where your ships are. This is your little “National Secret.” However, you will do many things to get a glimpse at the other player’s board. This is nothing more than spying, and the entire game process is a simplified microcosm of National Security. Both players have secrets that they need to keep to win. Now… lets throw in another player. This person represents the “Fan-boys” that have nothing better to do than sit out on the perimeter of places like Area 51, and try to take pictures of plastic bags caught up in a dust devil and sell them off as being the latest UFO Hybrid that the military is working on.

This person is watching the game from the side. He knows where all your ships are, but he has no interest in your security, he just knows because he thinks he has the right to know. This is because you are playing with a game that he bought. The other player knows that the Fan Boy knows what you have, and knows he might be able to pick up queues from him.

I know… the above is a very simplistic (Gawd… I hate using that word) way of looking at the issue, but I think is comes close.

I will not fault the fan-boys for going out, and camping for days to MAYBE see SOMETHING that MIGHT be a secret plane or UFO or maybe a couple cows that the Air Force decided to throw in the old Trebuche to lob at the unclean masses (Monty Python joke there.) They need something to do as well. Personally I enjoy going to the air shows that the various branches put on from time to time. There you get to have some good eats, see some neat aircraft that you KNOW exist, watch some kewl fly-bys, and have a good time with some friends. That is my idea of fun, though it may not be so to others.

Does Area 51 exist? I am sure that it does… but you know. Whether they are testing UFOs, secret spy planes, super lasers or filling my granny’s bloomers with helium and calling them Goodyear, is none of my business. They do what they do because it protects us all. Personally I think they are probably having fun at the expense of all the Fan-boys and girls that camp out there. I know I would, if in their position.

Oh No, OJ Again…

OK… When does it just start getting ridiculous? I know that we have not heard anything from Mr. Simpson for a while, and I applaud him for his valiant efforts to not do for the Goldman case what Geraldo Rivera did for Capone’s Vault.

The question I have is this. Exactly how stupid do you have to be to be a celebrity and (allegedly) break into a person’s hotel room and take stuff? OK… Let me play devil’s advocate here for a moment. A Co-Worker today, who’s identity will remain hidden, suggested that this might have been a set-up.

Let’s play with that for a moment, shall we? Someone tells me that there is a guy who took a bunch of my stuff and is hiding it in his room. I have the room number and I know when he will be there (I am only speculating on that, in the case of Mr. Simpson.) All this, and lets add that I am, say, Joe Montana… a face that everyone knows, like O.J.’s. Am I really going to be stupid enough to go and break into the room myself and take the stuff back? No… I would call the friggin’ police… or at the very least, should I suspect that the police would not help me, then I would send a couple people up after giving them a couple bills and have them do the busy work.

Now… Going back to OJ. You would think that with all the crap that he has gone through over the last several years, he would relegate himself to a nice quiet life of simple obscurity, maybe someplace where they have never heard of football, Hertz car rental or the Naked Gun movies. (In all reality, he should have gotten life in prison for his roll in those movies alone.) Someplace like Lake Vostok, or a little village that is not too far away from Barrow, Ak. Instead, he is still out signing autographs and making appearances all over America, all the while scouring golf courses looking for the real killers. These days about the only thing I would ask him to sign is a set of Ginsu knives or a pair of mens gloves that are one size too small for me.

On top of all this is the book… All I can say about that is WTF? Next thing you know, him and Osama Bin Laden are going to go on a tour together… I can see the headlines now. “Osama and OJ… On the Road with the ‘I didn’t do it, but if I had…'” Tour. Special guest speaker will be Sirhan Sirhan showcasing his book “It was a ricochet! I was aiming for the chef!”

Yes… I am doing two things here, in the event that you have not noticed. I am venting, and I am making light of the situation. These days it is hard for me to take anything that OJ does seriously. I firmly feel that even if he did not kill those people, he knows who did, which makes him just as guilty as the person who did. At this point there is nothing more to do that to sit back and laugh at him. His life itself has become a mockery of what he once was, there is an entire generation that only knows him for the murder, who has no memory of watching him play ball, and he was a very good player, back when it still meant something. To many of my generation he was a hero, and the Naked Gun movies started to whittle away at that persona that we knew. The murders only stripped away the little that was remaining.

Even with all that I have said here, I have no ill will towards OJ just for the sake being mean. I do feel that if he is guilty of all that he has been accused, then he needs to pay the restitution that he owes, and stop farting around about it. I do not believe in eternal damnation or hell, but I do believe that we all have to end out lives making every attempt to balance the scales towards the good, and I think that he has a long way to go.

Thanks for listening, and if I offended anyone… get over it.

Cheaters!

OK… I admit it. I watch a Saturday Evening program called Cheaters.

I am one of the first people to bash you if you make the mistake of telling me you watch shows like Jerry Springer, Montel, Maury and the like. These shows, in my opinion, being out exactly how low people will go to have their story shown, even though I am sure most of these stories are fabricated.

For those of you who are not familiar with Cheaters, it is a show that uses the following formula:
1. Person is suspicious of their partner’s activities while they are not around
2. Cheaters is hired to follow the partner around and “investigate” them.
3. Cheaters, once finding the incriminating footage, show said footage to the person.
4. Cheaters and Suspicious person confront the partner, usually in a very public place, to discuss the problem.
5. Copious dialogue and the obligatory physical confrontation ensue.

Ok… let me start by saying this. Cheaters does have a redeeming attribute, and that is that I am sure that the number of people that do cheat has dropped, or at the very least are looking a little harder over their shoulders.

I am not sure why I watch this show… Especially with my attitudes about the other shows that I have mentioned earlier in this blog. But I am hooked… I cannot go a Saturday without watching this show. In fact, my wife and I have our cell phones set to remind us when it is on, so that we do not miss it. How sad is that?

Do not get me wrong. Cheaters is a great show, and if by some miracle of a chance, one of their employees or producers happens across this blog, I have not a problem one with what you guys do. If I could make only one suggestion, though, it would be to have Joey Greco get rid of the damn Thesaurus that he is using. Most of the scripts he reads have words in them that look uncomfortable to him. They do not appear to be natural to his normal vocabulary.

Now… on to the real interesting part… the people.

OK… Why does a person cheat? Well… if you were to use the show Cheaters as a barometer for this question, it would be this reason… as it seems to be the most common.

“You are never there for me.” – This is a real winner. I see this being used mostly when the other person is in a job that requires them to travel. I travel all the time, but my relationship with my wife is strong enough that I have never questioned what she does while I am away. I know she goes out, but I trust her.

What tickles me the most about this show is that most of the people that are making the complaints about their partners are of the following catagories: Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Boyfriend/Boyfriend, Girlfriend/Girlfriend. Very few appear to be married couples.

Now, and correct me if I am wrong, but back in the days when I was still dating, the “Boyfriend/Girlfriend” relationship implied that there was still a certain “dynamic” nature to it… meaning that nothing was set in stone until you gave your Girlfriend that engagement ring. Granted, that does not excuse a person from seeing another person without first breaking up with the one you are with, but until a promise is made, do not expect that they will be there always. I have always seen the dating and Boyfriend/Girlfriend stage of a relationship as a “Try before you buy” stage in the relationship. I do not mean this as a rude or vulgar comment, but that is how you see if the relationship is going to fit. My Wife and I dated for about seven months, then moved in and lived together for about two years, then I popped the question. The only reason for the delay in our case was that we were constantly broke, and could not even afford a cheap wedding.

It just seems silly when I see these people on Cheaters talking about their relationship being shaky, and some of them have only been dating for a few months. Seems silly.

I will continue to watch this show, and continue to watch Joey do for Cheaters what William Shatner did to Star Trek. I am hooked to the show, and I will, God help me, probably buy the season 1 boxed set of Cheaters. Complete with Tommy Habeeb (Grand) and Joey Greco and all the misfits of the Relationship Arena.

The Dumbing down of ME!

I live a relatively sedate life.

I work and I come home… as for entertainment, I spend time with my wife, write stories that will probably never get published (until I die… we are all famous when we are dead.) and write in my Blog… among other things.

I restrict myself to a few shows on TV a week. This does not count things like news programs, and the occasional show on the History Channel or the other various educational programs out there. That being said, here is the way my viewing habits used to be:

News. (MSN and Fox)

StarGate: SG-1

StarGate: Atlantis

Battlestar Galactica

Now the networks have gone and released a few new shows… and, to my utter amazement and spectacular dismay, I like them. I now have two more shows to add to my list…

My Name is Earl

Surface.

Keep in mind, and I am a person that does not typically enjoy TV… It is the single most destructive thing in your house since TV Dinners, Microwaves and Jazzercise. I have seen my wife… these shows have a brainwashing affect on people, and I see the glazed look in her eyes while Law and Order, Criminal Minds or CSI are on. I could yell “Fire!!!” and get little or no response until the next commercial.

I feel that if the networks continue to put more shows I like on the air, then I might, alas, finally succumb to the evil plans of the network leadership, and fall into the abyss that is… dare I say… the black hole of television dementia.

For now… I will continue to write my stories and curse you all with my Blogs and attempt to maintain my personal thoughts… but I may not last long… I feel the TV calling me.

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