One of the hardest things for me to deal with in life is that so much in life is transitory. It like often misunderstood or misinterpreted First Nobel Truth says, “Life is Suffering.” Some people read this and assume that it means that we are supposed to feel pain, sorrow and suffering in order to live. But it really means that we have to understand and accept that as part of our lives we will experience pain, loss, suffering and other things which will cause us to hurt.
This is especially true of people and occasions. We have become a people that live from moment to moment, looking for the beauty of the moment and not of the entire picture that is presented to us. We go to a party, have a great time, then feel sad when it is over and spend our time trying to find ways to relive the fun of that moment in our time. While we are doing this we are missing out on all the other moments and experienced that fill the gaps between.
In the end, we find ourselves at the end of our lives with nothing but regrets and lost moments, while the rest of the world has kept moving around us, kept growing, kept living. We find that others have created new stories and experiences, while the others are left to wallow in the mire of the past. Even if the experiences that they are reliving were fun or inspirational, they are still in the past and the events static, immovable in time. They are wonderful for reference, but to dwell on them is a waste of life and energy.
So what can we do or what should we do?
This IS the question, isn’t it? On one hand we want those memories to be a part of our lives and to occasionally walk down memory lane to revisit them, but it is another thing entirely to live there. So we need to remember that those memories are part of what made us who we are. The bad and the good, each is a catalyst that is instrumental in guiding our lives through this turbulent stream of time that is life.
We hold onto the memories that make us happy and keep that for the days when you need them, but do not try to remake them or relive them. You will almost always be disappointed by what you find when you try, because you may no longer be the same person you were at that time. So often we find that we never are, time and experiences change us, reassign priorities, correct some of the wrongs in our lives and make us different people. Rarely are we the same people now that we were ten or twenty years prior.
So we take those memories and hold onto them… make them part of who we are and move on. Every tear, every smile, laugh, hurt, loss… they all are part of the larger equation that makes up who we are and, inevitably, where we are going.
Thank you for your readership.